The View from My Window

A Mother's Version of 1 Corinthians 13

2012-02-10T12:25:00.000-08:00

I have been challenged lately that no matter what I do or how much I accomplish, if I do not do it with love, it means NOTHING. On that note of inspiration, I penned the following...enjoy! :)

Though I teach my children to read and write in multiple languages, but teach them not love for the peoples who speak them, it profits them nothing. Though I home school my children and take them to church every Sunday, if I do not teach them to love those who are different from them, it profits them nothing. If I teach my children that there are poor people in this world, but fail to teach them to pray for them or actually provide for the poor's needs (when I am well able to do so), my example and words profit them nothing.

If I feed my children only organic food and grass fed beef, but fail to feed them with God's Words of life, it profits them nothing.

Love is patient when toothpaste has been squeezed all over the floor, the toilet paper has been unrolled and broken into little bits, and a child who has just been fully dressed has a blow-out diaper.

Love is kind when a child throws a temper tantrum for the third time that day about the exact same thing, when your 2 year old looks you in the face and says, "NO!" and even when they write with your favorite lipstick on the bathroom mirror - again.

Love is not jealous of other's children when they behave properly or succeed, love is not boastful or proud of the cleanliness of your home or the fact that you diligently meal plan or your children's behavior on a day when they have been particularly "good." Love is not rude to moms who happen to parent differently than you.

Love does not demand that your child make you look good in public or achieve a certain success or choose your same career path or live out your own unfulfilled goals and aspirations.
Love is not irritable when a child asks 15 very detailed questions in a row before you have even had your morning coffee, Love keeps no record of the "time outs" or the "acting outs" or the number of diapers changed or number of hours sleep that have been missed.

Love does not rejoice in in covering up a child's wrongs, but in exposing and correcting them (with Love, of course). Love never gives up on their child, never loses faith in his or her potential, is always hopeful that they will make the right choice, and endures through every misbehavior, poor choice, pure mistake, or outright rebellion.

Parenting books and homemaking methods and organizational skills will all become useless. But love will last forever! Now our knowledge of mothering is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of intuition reveals only part of the whole picture! But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless.When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. (Therefore, I can have compassion on my child). But now that I am fully grown, I put away childish things and embrace mature behavior that I might lead my children well.

Now we see things imperfectly, like smudges and hand prints on an unwashed mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

Three things will last forever—the Sharpie marks on my favorite jeans, hope that I will once again use the bathroom by myself, and an unwavering, undying, unconditional love for my children that could only come from God —and the greatest of these is love.

A Love that Never Leaves

2012-02-08T11:55:00.000-08:00

"God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
²Therefore we will not fear,
Even though the earth be removed, And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though its waters roar and be troubled, Though the mountains shake with its swelling." - Psalm 46:1-2

I visited a La Leche League meeting today as part of the requirements in becoming a birthing instructor and observed 11 new mothers breastfeeding their babies. It was truly beautiful. I kept thinking as I watched them with joy, how content these babies were, even in the midst of several older babies and children (including my two girls!) playing with toys that make loud noises, fighting, and running all around them. Not that they never cried, of course, but that they were immediately comforted. Why? Mama was there - holding them, nourishing them, assuring them all is well.

I got in the car to return home and found myself troubled about a situation I have no control over. My heart reminded me of Psalm 46 - and a picture came to my mind of what I saw this morning at the meeting and what I had seen when we went to Haiti after the devastating earthquake there. Defenseless babies, calm in the midst of complete chaos, because of a mother's embrace.

I googled the thought and what popped up was this powerful story, a testimony of a mother's love. A baby, likely troubled by the noise of rubble falling all around, crashing in on them all, locking them into a potentially fatal situation. And yet, mother reaches out her fingers, finds her child, pulls her to her chest, offers her nourishment, relief, comfort, warmth - and this child knows all is well. And this child survived and thrived.

And again I think of my own trouble, so minor, so silly, so trite - and how abundantly available God is in the midst of it. And how ready He is to be my refuge in storms or even perceived storms - it doesn't matter. He wants to be my refuge in it all.

And then this thought came - He never leaves. Ever. When all is well in my little world. When all seems chaotic. When all is frazzled and frenzied and fierce. When something in me falls and needs to be picked up. When I wake. When I sleep. When I laugh. When I cry. It's a promise:

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 8:38-39

His love endures every kind of weather. And yet, something tells me, as I think of the babies and the earthquakes and my own heart that the trust of a child of God in their Maker is not seen in its full beauty while all is well, the sun is shining, everyone is happy and peaceful. Trust is most beautifully and powerfully on display in all its shining certainty when everything around is uncertain. When mountains crumble, unexpected loss occurs, we can't see our way, and our dream or plan or even our "to-do" list for the day falls apart.

There, in the midst of a rubble of buildings or hopes or relationships or dreams, a heart rests quietly, serenely even, in the arms of its Maker. And all is well. And the world watches in awe. And longs for the same.

Child of God, when His Presence, His Love, His nearness and just Him is enough and everything - this is Trust. No other refuge will do. And you know all will be well because Abba is here and because nothing can separate you from His love.

How to Live a Carefree Life

2012-02-03T11:03:00.000-08:00

I'm a Type A, "Get it Done" personality type. I like schedules and order and the feeling of accomplishment in a project that has been completed. I love the times when I clean my entire kitchen and have the chance to admire the sparkle of it for at least 10 minutes before it is destroyed again.

I'm also what my husband calls "disciplined." I exercise regularly and eat healthfully (usually). But I have also learned that every runner needs days off (learned this through a stress fracture in college) and every healthy eater needs to splurge regularly (in my opinion) or they will go crazy one day and eat an entire box of chocolate in the grocery store and go into sugar shock. And, I also think that every kid will too one day if they aren't allowed a little sugar every now and then! (*SHOCK*)

I guess that now, as an adult and a mom, I am becoming an "everything in moderation" person, whereas before I think I was more of a "nothing is worth doing unless it is extreme." I have seen how this helps me live a more carefree life but also helps my family. Mom isn't harping on them for dropping things on the floor or making messes. If the laundry doesn't get done and the sticky spots on the kitchen floor are still there two days from now, it's ok. And, if I want to buy my 15 month old a pink-iced cherry donut while we are shopping, I do it. Just to watch her enjoy the yummy confection! (see image above).

Sometimes I think that we adults spend too much time worrying, fretting, and becoming upset about things that really don't matter at all. I don't want to be the mom who frowns at my kid because "you didn't eat your spinach." So what? they are not going to die from lack of nutrition, that's for sure! (thanks to those wonderfully healthy gummy-vites they eat daily! :)

Then again, there are things we worry about that do matter, but that worrying won't solve. This past week, I had some genuine "cares" that were hindering me from being "carefree." I am learning, day by day, that worrying doesn't accomplish anything but harm. I can take a lesson from my kids (as always). What do they do when they are upset, stressed ("she took my tooooyyyy!"), or afraid? When they are too young to talk, all they have to do is cry and reach out their arms to Mama or Daddy. In their parents arms, all is well again. When they can talk, on the other hand, communication can help. "Mama, I'm sad because Kessy ate my crayon" (yes, this did happen :). "I'm sorry, sweetie, let's get you another so you can finish your picture." (as I pry bits of blue wax out of Kes's teeth...)

What do they do? Run to Mama. Reach for Mama. Talk to Mama (or Daddy - its really whoever is home at the time!). What should I do when I am anxious, worried, troubled? Run to Abba. Reach for Abba. Talk to Abba. 1 Peter 5:7 sums this up really well "Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you." (the Message) The J.B. Phillips translation is great, too: "You can throw the whole weight of your anxieties upon him, for you are his personal concern."

Child of God, what weight are you carrying around today? Some burdens are your responsibility and some are not. As the Serenity prayer states so beautifully, ask for wisdom to know the difference and realize that worrying never helps, but only hurts. You can live the whole of your days carefree because there is an ever-watchful Heavenly Father who promises to care for you. And don't sweat the small stuff - one donut never killed anyone! :)

Craving What You're Fed

2012-01-24T12:01:00.000-08:00

Recently, a friend of mine posted on Facebook how, upon walking past his neighbors Capitol Hill row house, he peered in the large windows and saw a couple laughing and drinking wine in their massive kitchen while their child colored quietly at the table. He commented something like, "why me, Lord? Why does everyone have so much and me so little! " We joked back and forth about this and I told him he could always borrow Grace to color quietly in his kitchen if he wanted to "live the dream." :)

My friend was joking around, but he captured something we all deal with at times: covetousness, or wanting what you don't have. The Bible actually defines coveting as "to desire greatly." Covetousness can be about your neighbor's new car or your co-workers recent promotion. It can be about the engagement ring your friend got or the man she got engaged to. "Do not covet" is one of the ten commandments for a reason - inside every human heart is the lusting for more.

Often, we think of coveting in regard to possessions, things, trifles, stuff. It often is. As Jesus taught, “Take heed and beware of covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses" (Luke 12:15). But coveting is definitely about more than just stuff, right? Remember, the definition is "to desire greatly."

What do you desire greatly? What do you long for that you don't have?

A new job?

A thinner physique?

a husband? a wife?

A more understanding spouse?

More obedient children?

The grass is not always greener on the other side.

My daughter illustrated this vividly to me the other night when I fed her some chicken fried rice that I had just labored to create for her for dinner. Before she even took one bite, she said "I don't like this. I don't want it" and pushed it away. Kids can do this often, but what struck me this time is something my husband noticed. She had never had chicken fried rice before. So how could she possibly know if she didn't like it? He pointed this out to her and she reluctantly ate her food.

When you wish to be someone else, doing something else, with someone else, someplace else, there is something wrong. You are who you are, where you are, doing what you are doing, with the people you are with, for a purpose.

All that you need for today is right in front of you. And there are sufficient joys and sacrifices and endeavors to pursue within the boundaries of what God has already given to you. A new placement or title will not cure a covetous or discontent heart. But prayer can! Learn instead to crave and desire what God has already given to you; create a craving for what God is feeding you right now and you will enjoy great satisfaction and fulfillment.

What's on your plate today? Have you ever tasted it before? If you haven't, ask God for an adventurous and trusting heart to seize the new path before you. If you have (and you didn't like it) ask God for a newfound craving for what He's feeding you in this season....

because when he's the one preparing the table, the food is always best.

How to Keep Your Cool (When You Want to Explode)

2012-01-18T15:56:00.001-08:00

...Or when you want to yell at your kids, or your spouse, or your friend, or the neighbor's dog, for that matter!

I've been thinking lately about what I would like to call the "Uncelebrated Gem of Gentleness." I say uncelebrated because out of the 9 fruits of the Spirit, it kind of ranks up there right next to "self control." Yep, give me Joy, give me Peace, but Gentleness? um, yeah....sure. Sounds good.

Are you not so sure you want to pursue gentleness like a hungry lion chasing a gaselle? Ok, now is my chance to roll up my sleeves and convince you from the only source of Truth and Wisdom (not CNN or Fox News, but the Bible, people! The Word of God!)

What God says about Gentleness:

1. It's a fruit of the Spirit

2. In Matthew 11:29, Jesus says to take His yoke and learn from HIS Gentleness

3. In Psalm 18:35, David says of the Lord that "your gentleness has made me great." - When you are gentle with others, it actually empowers them to become great.

4. Proverbs 25:15 says "By long forbearance a ruler is persuaded, and a gentle tongue breaks a bone." Amazing. Gentle words are more powerful than throwing something across the room. Shocker.

5. Gentleness is listed as a necessary character trait for church leaders (specifically elders) - 1 Timothy 3:3

6. Peter says specifically to women that a Gentle and Quiet spirit produce incorruptible beauty and are very precious in the sight of God - 1 Peter 3:4

Still not convinced?

Ok, I admit that I used to not like that last verse very much until I realized that to be gentle and quiet doesn't mean we are mealy-mouthed people who let everyone walk all over them and just stay quiet all the time. The word in the Greek for gentleness actually means "meekness" which is "power under control."

Choosing to be gentle or exhibit gentleness with others doesn't mean that you aren't a bold person or a powerful person or an outgoing person. It simply means that you are willing to bring that power under control when necessary - when what is needed at the moment to help grow and develop and nurture another person is not power or force or boldness but gentleness, forbearance, patience, and kindness.

I've found as a parent that it is easy to demand obedience and bark orders but harder to get down on my kids level, speak kindly and gently to them, empowering and encouraging them with my words to do what is right.

I am not one of those people who tacks Scripture all over my walls, but I have one Scripture passage that has permanently remained on the window above my kitchen sink for the last three years, because I need the reminder:

" Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." - Ephesians 4:29-32

If holding your tongue has ever been an issue for you (meaning, if you are human), I highly suggest meditating on or even memorizing this passage. It has done me much good.
The word "corrupt" in that passage literally means "decayed or rotten" words. Have you ever realized that your words can either be rotten or nourishing? Its up to you.

We would never think of filling our family's stomachs with decayed or spoiled food, but how often do we fill their hearts with harsh, contentious, abrasive, or sarcastic words? Rotten food will be eliminated quickly from their system, while rotten words, when left without remorse or retraction, tend to go down deep into the heart of the hearer, growing and breeding the destructive fruit of bitterness.

Words are not to be taken lightly; they have the power to raise a family to greatness or tear it to pieces. I hope you are convinced by now how much each of us needs gentleness and ought to pursue it at all costs.

A question to ponder: Do my words impart grace to those I am speaking to? What this means is, do my words make it easier for others to obey God, love others, do what is right? Or do they incite wrath, arguments, bitterness, and dissension?

I don't know about you, but I want my kids, and my husband, and my friends and family to become great, to reach their full potential, to be fully and deeply loved. So as hard as it may be at times, I am choosing gentleness. Because obeying God is always worth it and the people God has put in my life are always worth it, too!

When You are Weary from Loving

2012-01-11T12:21:00.000-08:00

My arms are full. Not of laundry or piles of dirty dishes, but of covenant kindness - my little Chesed Joy.

My fourteen-month-old beauty is in a stage where apart from doing her little waddle-walk across the room, the only place she wants to be is Mommy's arms. Her arms reach out - she doesn't speak and yet her whole being cries "hold me!"

I am weary and she is growing - 20 something pounds of compact love, eager to be scooped up and cuddled and carried and kissed. And I feel unable as I look at her to do it again for the 157th time today. Every square inch of my body hurts and it seems I can't keep on picking this child up.

But I do.

And I hold her close - and she wraps her chubby arms around my shoulders, burrowing her head full of soft hair into my neck, laughing in delight at my embrace.

In the moment, that moment, one of 157 moments, I feel no pain. I only feel her and her love and my love all meeting into one beautiful hug.

Can you, do you, ever get weary from loving? It is possible to feel unable to love, to be weary of bearing burdens of others and laboring in service of others, this is true. But there is something about loving that, when we step out and do it regardless of whether we think we can or not, fills us in return.

I pick her up, thinking she will empty me of strength.

She ends up filling me with love and the joy which is my strength.

Perhaps Christ commanded us only one thing - to love - because He knew that in giving love we would receive love and therefore be strengthened and fulfilled to the utmost.

We named her love and joy and as I give she fills me and I fill her and we give and we receive at the same time. And I better understand His words and what He meant when He said, "These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you" (John 15:11-12, ESV).

Joy wants to remain with me all day long. Why would I push her away?

Has loving God or loving someone become hard or wearisome to you? Have you grown weary of loving? Dear friend, the source of your strength lies in the giving of it, the source of your life begins to flow when you lay it down. Make the choice today to give love, even if you feel you have nothing. You are promised that, in return, you will receive more than you even need.

I am not Superwoman. My arms will still grow weary and I have been created to need rest. And yet, "The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms" (Deuteronomy 33:27). I thank God that when I cry, reaching out my arms to be held for the 157th time today, He doesn't sigh and doesn't flinch. He takes me and holds me strong. He is always ready and eager to hold me and to hold you - with sufficient strength to carry and sustain each of His beloved children forever.

What Makes a Happy Family?

2012-01-09T11:25:00.001-08:00

The happiness of the domestic fireside is the first boon of Heaven; and it is well it is so, since it is that which is the lot of the mass of mankind. ~Thomas Jefferson, 1813

I truly believe that healthy, happy families are the cornerstone to a thriving nation and world. Most would agree and yet perhaps grew up in a difficult or even dysfunctional or abusive family environment. When you haven't grown up in a healthy family environment, it may be daunting or even seem an impossible dream that your family and children could grow up in a healthy, nurturing environment filled with love, affirmation and support.

I am blessed to have been raised in a home with two loving parents who not only provided me with a strong and beautiful example of what a good marriage looked like (lived out before my eyes every day), but also lovingly disciplined, nurtured and encouraged me and my brother at each season of our journey through childhood and adolescence. Even in a loving home, my parents weren't perfect and we children weren't either, as can be expected!!

I was brainstorming today in my journal about the elements or "foundation blocks" for a Happy, Healthy Family. I know there are many more than what I will share, but I pray that one or two of these thoughts inspire your own thinking and praying and dreaming of what you desire your family to become...

A Happy Family is:

1. Not perfect, but working towards humility: I say "working towards humility" because stooping down to my 3 year old at face-to-face level and apologizing for my crabby attitude (of which she is bearing the brunt) is not easy. It is humbling. But she deserves my respect and she deserves my act of "making it right" by seeking her forgiveness. When we as parents humble ourselves to each other or to our children we are setting a precedent that it is more important to be in relationship with one another than to be proud and isolated.

2. Not money, but love: When Joel and I got married, we could barely pay our bills for our one bedroom apartment. For several years, it seems, we had just enough to get by...but it never really felt that way. I have always felt nothing but blessed and nothing less than abundance flowing through my life since we were married. I am convinced that is because it is love that enriches a family, not money. On our "date nights" Joel would treat me to coffee and dessert or to a dinner at Panera Bread because that is what we could afford. But some of my fondest memories of our earlier years were those times we spent together where our total bill came to less than $20. On the other hand, there have been date nights where we went to a fancy restaurant and some sort of expensive play or outing, but argued the whole time, and the night was ruined. I am becoming even more aware of my need to teach my children this principle by example when it seems they keep accumulating more and more stuff every day!! :)

3. Not control, but Healthy Boundaries: Controlling relationships stifle families and only end up drawing people away. Every family member ought to be able to have individual hobbies or talents or interests that the others appreciate, participate in, support. Healthy boundaries show how much you really care about the other person. When I tell Chesed "No, you may not touch the outlet on the wall" or Grace "you may not ride your bike without a helmet" this isn't being controlling, rather, it is providing a healthy boundary for her freedom to thrive.

4. Not just Quality time, but also Quantity time: I say this because the most meaningful interactions I have had with my family haven't been planned or ordered. Joel and I do sometimes plan to have talks about important things like our financial future, investments, the girls future schooling, or other matters, of course, but I have seen more often than not the more memorable "teachable moments" with the girls or special times with Joel coming at an unexpected moment. Some mornings the girls and I are just piddling around the house, eating breakfast, Grace chasing Kes, throwing laundry in to wash, and Grace may ask a question that sparks a meaningful conversation with my precious 3-year old about life and what it is all about. The more time you allow to spend with your family, the more that you can really know each other, love each other, play together, learn together, teach each other, serve one another.

5. Not Closed doors but Open ones: I have personally seen through the years that the healthiest homes I have seen were ones that stayed open to others - neighbors, friends, relatives, co-workers, you name it! Not that they just got trampled, though :) but simply that they let people into their families, sharing their family with others and thus enriching their community as well as their family in the process.

6.Not Pretending but Communicating: Just because families don't argue or fight doesn't mean they are healthy. Communicating and working through problems leads to health. Bottling things up and holding grudges is painful and poisonous.

7. Not taking, but serving: When each family member seeks to serve the others for the mutual good and growth of the family (in whatever way they can), everyone thrives. When everyone pitches in, helps clean up, or just makes someone laugh when they are having a bad day, the family is enriched. I can honestly say that my one year old daughter serves our family by providing us with great laughter and quality entertainment, sometimes at the end of a very long day!

8. Not self-centered, but God and other-centered: I believe our family realizes its fullest purpose when glorifying God in all things becomes the utmost aim - when we seek not only to serve ourselves and each other but look out, reaching outside of our home to the world around us and seeking to work together to serve our community and our world. I personally have dreams of serving the poor, hungry, and hurting people of the world side by side with my daughters someday.

These are just a few of my own reflections and musings. What about you? What do you think makes a happy, healthy family? What one thing can you do today to serve and love the family God has given you? Truly, family is one of life's greatest blessings!

The Greater Goal of Gratitude

2012-01-02T12:59:00.000-08:00

"The greatest thing is to give thanks for everything. He who has learned this knows what it means to live. He has penetrated the whole mystery of life: give thanks in everything." - Albert Schweitzer

It's January 2 and I know that lots of people are thinking of their goals and resolutions for the new year. I normally think more about this topic at what has become our family's "turning of a year" during the week we spend celebrating our birthdays and anniversary at the Cabin in the mountains. It has become our yearly set time to remember God's blessings, reflect on His faithfulness, and prayerfully consider our commitments and goals.

But November and December were rough months in many ways for me and my family as we went through 2 ear infections, 3 bouts of the stomach flu, colds, and fevers. For over a month, it just seemed like sickness had decided to camp out in our home. But I am happy to report that it didn't stay forever. We are all home, well, and healthy as a horse. Unfortunately, there were many hours and days during this "month of sickness" that my attitude reflected my children's health - it was sick. Sick of being sick and dealing with sickness and other various troubles. There were times I hate to admit I was just plain ol' pouty. But as most of my blogs report:

But God.

Our family just returned from a wonderful trip to visit his family in Chicago and during this visit, Chesed officially began walking as her preferred means of transportation :) and developed a crush on the Thomas family dog, Max. Grace took her first ever horseback riding lessons, complete with a new helmet and riding boots! These among other things were precious for this Mommy to behold.

Today at nap time I decided to dig into one of my absolute favorite books, The 4:8 Principle. As I read the chapter on Gratitude, I felt my soul literally lifting up from a sigh to a squeal and my spirit resonate with the truth on the pages. I want to share with you one of the many wonderfully quotable passages that stuck out to me:

Gratitude is a conviction, a practice, a discipline...Gratitude involves channeling your energy and attention towards what is present and working rather than what's absent and ineffective. Gratitude is like a mental gearshift that takes you from turbulence to peacefulness, from stagnation to creativity. Gratitude brings you back to the present moment, to all that is working well in your life right now. Gratitude is the cornerstone of an unstoppable attitude - the 4:8 Principle, p. 173.

Yesterday our family went to the neighborhood park to play in the morning. It was January 1st and 59 degrees and sunny. I pushed Grace on the swing, her laughing and me laughing and she asked me to swing beside her. I gladly did, and as I pumped my legs to go higher and higher the cool, crisp air filled my lungs and the sun danced on the branches of the tree in front of me. I was blissfully happy to be alive, to be free and able to do what I was doing, right then, in that very moment. I was grateful.

And so, my #1 goal of 2012 is to aggressively cultivate a lifestyle of habitual gratitude and praise to God for this one life that I have been given. I have a hunch that in so doing, all other areas of my life will bloom and thrive as well. Would you join me in this quest? If you choose to make gratitude your number one goal of the year, email or message me and let me know! Let's learn together the treasure that comes from giving thanks in all things.

A Word Made Flesh

2011-12-19T10:45:00.000-08:00

Scraps from my journal indicate that this Christmas I have been dealing with anxiety.... I'm not going to psychoanalyze it but suffice to say, what I have needed most is peace of heart and mind and the rest of God that encompasses both the body and the soul.

in one entry I wrote: "I am parched for beauty though beauty surrounds me." I sympathize with the woman at the well in Samaria who said, "Please, sir, tell me where I can find this living water that I might not be thirsty again..." How is it that we as believers can be full of the Spirit of God and have the promises of Scripture at our fingertips and yet lack in experiential depth the reality of the words of promise we have been given? Again in my journal I wrote, "I am so thirsty for you, God...I feel that i must be surrounded by Living Water - but if it doesn't get inside of me and impact the core of my being - if it doesn't affect change in my life - what good is it?"

The Word of God, Scripture says, is ALIVE and ACTIVE. It is not like other books. You may read it as such, not holding it with authority, not reverencing it as though one passage might forever change you - but that is what it is - it is as sharp as a surgeon's scalpel...and the one opening it must be prepared to be operated on.

Perhaps the times when I am not changed, when I read the Bible but leave as thirsty as I came, perhaps when I carry anxiety more than a moment or an hour is because I refuse to let the scalpel of the Word cut me open - penetrate heart and soul and all that is within me?

Pruning is painful. Changing is painful. Letting go of the illusion of our control over a thing - whether it be our own life or our children or our work or our future - may very well feel like jumping off a cliff - suicide. And in a way, it is. We die to self. We rise to Christ. We let go, and give over, and release a care (truly release it) to God and think we will fall to the ground. And right before we do, our hearts in our stomach and our minds whirling, we are caught. and held. firmly. And the color, the light, the peace, the joy, all enters in, like a rushing river of abundant life. But we have to jump, we have to risk it all to receive it all.

Our inheritance is all there in the Word - and we've been given the Spirit as a guarantee. Sometimes I read it and become angry - the amazing gifts I have been given and yet don't receive - the peace, the joy, the patience, the kindness, the love....all available for FREE.

And what we need this Christmas, like I said before, is the Peace of God. Peace can mean many things. but one of the words for Peace in Hebrew is "Shalom" - other than the words i named my daughters, "Grace," and "Chesed" (look that one up in the Hebrew -its simply profound!) I have found no more beautiful word than Shalom. What does it mean? Completeness, wholeness, peace, health, welfare, safety, tranquility, perfectness, fullness, rest, harmony, total well-being. One scholar has said that Shalom is nothing less than the full expression of the kingdom of God - resting upon you. Beautiful. And it is promised to us as children of God. Shalom is all over the Word, but my favorite lately is:

Isaiah 53:4-5 "The chastisement for our peace (shalom) was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed." When He bled and died, it wasn't only for our salvation, it was also for our peace of mind - for our total well-being.

Where do you lack today, child of God? Where is your deficit? Joy? Love? Hope? Peace? you don't have to live this way, you know. It is all yours, in Christ Jesus.

Believe that it is yours and receive the promises by faith. It is the only way that a Word can be made Flesh in us. Faith. And that is a gift, too, so ask away :) One of my favorite prayers is, "Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief."

So, He will come - to fill you with faith. To fill you with peace. To fill you with love.

Abba, Father, may your Word be made flesh in me this Christmas - may the entrance of your words give life and light and forever change my heart, soul, mind, body, and spirit.

A Gift the World Can't Give You

2011-12-13T12:10:00.000-08:00

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid." - John 14:27 NLT

It is the season of Christmas, which literally means "Christ's mass" - a day set apart to celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ. This season can be about a lot of things - family, cooking, buying, wrapping, stressing, running around like crazy, parties, caroling, snow. But, when those things kind of fade away, in the silent of the night - there is just Noel - whose ultimate Latin origin simply means "the day of birth."

The Commercializing of Christmas is sickening and joy-stealing and distracting, but its not what I want to think about today - because its not what we need. What we need is Christ. Period.

And He came - He came and He entered the world through a swollen and tired child-woman who was poor and without place and there is something so incredibly beautiful and captivating and awe-inspiring about the fact that Christ wasn't born in a disinfected, hygenic environment with doctors and pillows and white walls (well, no one was back then - they were all born by midwives, but I regress..). For all my fellow Bradley Teachers out there, this was the ultimate "husband-coached" childbirth. Delivered by His Father, his first cries heard by animals - his first sleep in their feeding trough. There is something that seems so wrong about this picture - the Nativity Scene - shouldn't our Savior have had a better place to rest His head? His Father apparently didnt think so.

I love what the Magi say in the movie "the Nativity" when they find Jesus, under the star, in the manger: "The greatest of kings, born in the most humble of places."

Jesus showed us something in His birth. He showed us that He is not afraid to be touched by our germs, our sin, our poverty, our brokenness, even the filth of our humanity and world. He wants to invade them - to touch them deeply with His presence and His power and His peace.

And that is what we need this Christmas - the Gift of His Peace. The World can give you a lot of things - iPads, flat screen tvs, gaming systems, clothes, shoes, airplane tickets, etc etc etc. But there is a place where the World holds out empty hands for us. "Peace? Rest? Joy? Salvation? Sorry, I got nothin' for ya." But Christ does.

Christmas may be a hard season for you. Maybe you have horrible memories of this season. Maybe you lost a loved one at Christmas and every year is just a bitter reminder of who or what you are missing or don't have in your life. For two of my friends, this Christmas has been filled with writing a chapter in the book of their lives called "loss, " as they both are in the process of miscarrying babies. For both, this would have been their third child. For both, this is their second miscarriage. For both, the pain and the grief are unimaginable.

Sometimes I think no one knows pain like we mothers. For whatever reason, God chose women to be the bearers of life. But what about when life starts- and then stops - before it even had the chance to emerge, to breathe, to live, to be doted on, to have its fingers and toes counted and its cheeks kissed? There are no words.

I admit - I run from store to store, searching for a gift for them, a condolence, something to bring them comfort in their grief. I am at a loss, for the gift they really need this Christmas is not in the stores. It is a Hope and a Love that bears all things and endures all things and believes all things - a love that never fails. It is a peace that passes my comprehension and that can swallow even the deepest and darkest of human grief and suffering. It is the Peace of Christ.

The Christ who came as a child who became a man who took the keys to death, hell, and the grave and said in the face of death, with confidence, "it is finished," all because of Love. I can serve a God like that. I can have hope with a God like that. I can endure with a God like that.

Christ's death and resurrection assures us as believers that death is not forever. But life - life in God - that is forever.

For my friends who mourn the loss of their babes who will never be born, I weep. But I know that death and loss will not have the final say for these women, for they are lovers of God and mothers of children and beautiful life-givers and prayer warriors. They don't give up. Even in the face of death. Because Christ...because of Christ. Weeping may endure for a night, or a week, or even a month, but Joy - Joy always comes in the morning. And love, His love, never fails.

And that love, which both of my friends know well, will fill their lungs with breath when they have none, it will fill their legs with strength when they can't even seem to get out of bed, it will fill them with smiles of joy for the children that they do have and their hearts with a healing balm that could only come from their Heavenly Abba.

He came once and He will come again and He will have the final say over all these things. And because of this, we rejoice. As the Hallelujah Chorus so beautifully states, "And He shall reign forever and ever, King of Kings, and Lord of Lords, forever and ever and ever and ever."

May the Peace and Joy of Christ reign in your hearts this Christmas and may you welcome Him, the Perfect One, into your messy life - which is right where He wants to be.

Confessions of an In-frequent Traveler

2011-12-04T10:19:00.000-08:00

This picture pretty much sums up my heart so I thought I would share it. A girl, with suitcase packed, travel clothes on, hat on her head.....

Ready to Go.

This readiness has suited me well in life and has taken me to over 30 countries and over 40 of our 50 states. In my blood, by blood, I am a traveler. I love the World. I repeat-
I love the World. This may sound strange, but before I loved God, I loved the World. My father is a pilot, my brother is a pilot, my mother the happy-though-sometimes-reluctant-frequent traveler.

My childhood memories are filled with airplanes and cool places visited. My brother and I built forts with the blankets and pillows given on planes, we learned to pack our bags at an early age. We learned to be ready to Go. Once God graciously came into my life, my love for the World became enlightened by His Holy Spirit and, well, His love for the World. I learned to love not just the exotic and romantic and exciting getaways to Hawaii or Europe. I began to love what many would call the places that aren't that desirable of a "travel destination."

When I was 19, I went to Africa for the first time. I fell in love with the Ghanaian people, the tribal music, the rich, red soil and lush greenery, the simple living and loving and hospitality. I fell in love with the poor who were so rich for eternity and so aware of their need for God.

After an amazing six month trip around the world, Joel and I landed in D.C. and felt God clearly calling us to this area. Out of every place in the United States, I love where I live. I really do. I love the people, I love the city, I love everything about our area pretty much. But I still love the World. And so much so, that sometimes (and lately often), I find myself restlessly ready to touch the African soil again, to hold the beautiful orphans, to dance in the villages.

This struggle has led to many conversations with Joel about timing - when would God call us to go? Where? What would it look like? We both pray and we both agree that now is not the time. God has made that clear. Joel deals well with this. Astoundingly well. I, on the other hand, am left to dwell in a cloud of discontent and impatience. I become the pouty two-year old with my hands on my hips and bag packed, sitting by the door when dinner is hot on the table at home.
What I have and hold in my heart is both a promise that I can't give up on and an unfulfilled longing that can drive me to idolatry, choking out love for the people and places I am called to serve right now.

Like Jacob who is promised a land, I wrestle.

But maybe wrestling is the one thing I don't need to do today. Graciously, another word comes:

Surrender.

Perhaps, surrendering this dream and promise and its fulfillment to the One who planted it in my heart in the first place is the very best and most important thing I can do right now. So that I don't miss one minute of today yearning for my future and remember that really wonderful, godly desires can become idols and joy-stealers when we don't submit them back to God.

It is hard sometimes for me to admit to myself and to God that it is, in fact, His will for me right now to be right where I am doing right what I am doing. And that He cares more that my heart and my will is submitted to Him than about anything I could do for him.

I read a quote today that drove the nail in this truth:

The greatness of man's power is the measure of his surrender. It is not a question of who you are, or of what you are, but whether God controls you. - Henrietta C Mears

Abba, take my life, my dream of "going into all the world" - you were the Dream Giver. Now be the Dream Holder and Fulfiller. Your time, not mine. Your way, not my own. Your will, not my own. May I be fully present in the moment and fully invested and fulfilled in the joy of the work you have placed right in front of me - mostly seen in two beautiful faces that are constant reminders of your Grace and Covenant Kindness.

What Love Looks Like - Lessons from my Grandma

2011-11-30T07:46:00.000-08:00

We just returned from our Thanksgiving holiday trip to my parents house in Gainesville, GA. We had six great days there visiting with my parents, my brother and his family, my extended Earley family, some great friends from my college years, and a cohort of my parents neighbors, since they are some of the most friendly, hospitable people I know :)

In every way this visit was a great one, but there was one major highlight - my Grandma - Anna Mary Partlow. My eyes fill with tears of joy and pride just thinking of her - how could I not share about her here with you, my friends?

My Grandma is 91 years young. And when I say young, I mean it. She is as sharp and sassy now as I am sure she was at 21, only with a whole lot of wisdom and memories from her years on this earth. I took the rare opportunity that I had with her to ask her about her life, to hear stories of what she has endured and enjoyed and experienced. It was inspiring.

Grandma was a honor student in high school but had to graduate in three years as her father had passed away and her mother needed her help in the General Store that they ran. During the Great Depression, her father had allowed men who were out of work and needed a place to stay in the cold Gary, Indiana winters to find warmth in the basement of their store. After her father's death, her mother continued to allow them to find shelter there and even fed them with food from their store.

When Grandma and Grandpa moved to California for his health, they originally stayed in two rooms of a home (during the depression, it was common to rent a room of a home shared with multiple people). Grandmas sister lost her husband and she moved in with them with her two children in one of the rooms for a time before her sister ended up purchasing the house next door with her mother.

Grandma lost my Grandpa, her sweetheart for life, this year. In the middle of his funeral, Grandma in her usual sassiness corrected the priest when he stated a fact that she deemed incorrect. It was hilariously fitting and brought us all a chuckle on a day of sorrow and remembering him. Grandpa was an amazing husband and person, but during those last months of his life required much care. Grandma told me that her back had been hurting her because she had a hole that had developed in her back. I asked her how that happened. She simply said, "loving your grandfather." Day after day, she would care for him, often to the detriment of her own health. "He spent his whole life taking care of me. The least I can do is to take care of him now," she said. Her love for him lived out caused her many sleepless nights and emotional and physical turmoil that left a permanent mark on her already fragile, 91-year old frame.

Jesus isn't the only one who bears scars for love. Real love has scars it wears with pride. Because, as I learned from Grandma, real love isn't just the happy-clappy, lipstick and velvet, bubble bath and candles kind of love. They had that. But they had something more. Love means sacrifice and patient endurance and heartbreak that comes from a radical, affectionate commitment to another person's highest good. In my Grandma, what that looked like in Grandpa's last months was helping to bathe and feed and care for her wonderful husband as his memory became weaker and weaker. I thought of Grandma when I read John 13:1 "Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end." Grandma loved Grandpa until the very end.

When I asked Grandma for advice in parenting, she said, "love your children to pieces, but don't spoil them. Spoiling them is the worst thing that you can do for them." She said, "kids today think they are owed everything." Coming from someone who endured the Great Depression, this advice is duly noted.

When I asked her the secret to a long life, she didn't point to exercise or eating habits or some secret thing that she had done. She instead pointed to the hand of Almighty God. She said, "I believe that God has appointed a time for each of us and when it is my time to go, it is my time to go. It's not up to me." What a strong confession in the Sovereignty of God! At 91, she has a strong sense of living in the present moment to the fullest. She played with my children and loved on them with all she had in her this week. They fell in love with her and she fell in love with them.

I am so thankful for my darling Grandmother who has taught me and I pray will continue to teach me and my children to cherish life and live it to the fullest. I pray that some of Grandma's sage wisdom will fill your heart with perspective today as well. Because not everyone has a sassy 91 year old Grandma they can chat with!

Our Christmas Card!

2011-11-23T07:15:00.001-08:00

Photo Card

View the entire collection of cards.

A Tribute to My Neighbors

2011-11-22T15:53:00.000-08:00

I love where I live.

Cheverly, Maryland is to me as close to heaven on earth as you can get. No, I am not talking about the weather necessarily or the wonderful restaurants that are here (what restaurants??) or the view of, well, neither mountains or ocean. The reason that this place, this neighborhood, is to me so incredibly dynamic and different and refreshing and real is the people.

I have lived in this town for only three short years. Upon moving in, I was greeted by a neighbor, Jennifer Brandi, who at the time was the "welcome coordinator" for the CPRC (Cheverly Parent Resource Center). Yes, Cheverly has a parent resource group that is amazing. Jennifer brought me a basket that was filled with goodies of all kinds just helping to say "welcome" and "we're glad you're here." She shared with me about the neighborhood playgroup (I was pregnant with Grace at the time). She told me about where to go, what to do, fun things about the neighborhood. It had an impact on me. And so when she had to step down from the "welcome coordinator" position, I basically jumped up with a "oh can I do it? please, please, please!!" Why?

Because I love our neighbors. I love the people who live here. I love meeting the new parents when I deliver our little baby baskets. I love the fact that they invite me into their homes and share with me about how things are going with their new babies. I love that they quickly become friends.

I love the fact that no matter what time of day it is, I can go to the Gast "Cheese" park and find a friend there with their kids. And even if I don't know the person, i get to know them and before long, we are chatting it up like we've known each other forever.

I love Cheverly because there are people here who care about each other, who are giving and generous. I love the fact that families all jump on board to provide meals for new parents or for those who lose a loved one. I love that if I have a friend who doesn't have the means to purchase a stroller when they have a child, that I can simply email my neighbors and within seconds, three people have volunteered one.

I love the town activities, schools, churches, and community center. I love the police officers who strive so diligently to protect our town and who genuinely care about its citizens.

I love that we can walk to the metro and be in D.C. in moments.

I love that there are people here who deeply care about the environment and who seek to educate others on how to care for the earth as well. I love that we have a Farmers Market where I can support local farms and buy awesome organic food.

I love the Cheverly Pool, which Grace laments about every day that it is not open :)

I love the folks on Belleview Avenue where I live and love the fact that sporadically, multiple families on our block will gather to have a potluck and celebrate whatever holiday is occurring at the time. I love the fact that Danielle Dotson randomnly brought me a home-baked pie on Saturday evening and also ran over to take Grace to hang out with her kids on a moments notice when I was in labor with Chesed.

I love the new friends I am meeting at our newly formed Cheverly Womens Bible Study and that we all come from so many different backgrounds but live in the same place.

I love that so many people I love live here and that so many people are choosing to live here that I know I will love as soon as I meet them.

I love that our town is thriving and that my children have so many other children they can truly call "friends."

So this is my tribute to the wonderful town that I call home - Cheverly, MD.

So if you are looking for a place to call home in the D.C. area, consider Cheverly. You simply won't regret it.

Now lets just have someone open a coffee shop and we'll really be in heaven! All the parents out there say "AMEN!" :)

A Friend Named Adversity

2011-11-17T10:30:00.000-08:00

I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders. ~Jewish Proverb

Once upon a time, when I was 19 years old and in Ghana, West Africa on the trip that forever changed my life and brought me my husband, I fasted. Now, I have fasted many times since then, but this fast was likely the most memorable of them all, for a variety of reasons.

I was in Africa, away from every comfort I had known, choosing to forego one of the only comforts I had left - food. I was working very hard all day long , sweaty, dirty, tired as we spent our days going house to house in the rural villages and nights preaching crusades. It was mind-blowing and an exhilarating experience, to say the least. I felt that, if only for a summer, I walked with my feet above the ground, so to speak. I was in heaven in the will of God and watching Him move and heal and deliver and rescue like never before.

And so, Joel and I chose to take a week to just consecrate ourselves to God as we saw that He was doing so much right before our eyes. We drank water only this week. Now, let me tell you, it was hard not to eat, but it seemed that all my other senses were heightened in this endeavor and my spirit seemed to rise up in a new way. I was experiencing first hand the truth in Christ's words, "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God."

And I was truly alive. And as we broke our fast together at the end of 7 days (I still have the picture and laugh with delight every time I see it), we had a simple meal with the rest of our team. I remember it well because I was so incredibly hungry. It was nothing more than scrambled eggs and toast, but it was like heaven to me, and my taste buds came alive again!

If we are never hungry, really hungry, we can never truly appreciate the food we eat every day.

If we are never sick, we never really appreciate our health.

If we never endure the pain that comes with rigorous exercise and pushing ourselves past our known limits, we cannot grow stronger.

I am learning, little by little, that, spiritually speaking, adversity is my friend. I do not know my reliance upon God until it is tested. I do not know the strength of God who is within me until opportunity comes for Him to rise up and be my strength in the midst of weakness. I do not realize how desperately I need Him when all is well, perfectly tuned, going according to plan (my plan, that is).

"When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I"

The last few days, my heart has been overwhelmed. I have been sick, Chesed has been sick, Joel has been away on a work trip, and it has been cold, dark, and rainy. And for the most part, my attitude has been the same.

But God.
But God.

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. - 2 Corinthians 2:14

I dropped off Grace at her preschool. A friend said that some thoughts I had shared yesterday (yesterday was one of the worst days I have had in a very long time) really blessed her.

But God.

My heart warmed a bit.

When I got home, Chesed looked up at me (she sick, me sick) and simply said "Mama" for the first time ever.

But God.

My heart was a flame.

You and I are called to view trial and hardship and adversity and even great weakness as opportunity for God to strengthen us and shine His glory (not ours!) through us.

I don't delight in trials because they are painful. I am learning to delight in trials because I am forced to lean into God and let Him carry me, let Him strengthen me, let Him grow my faith.

If you remove the rocks, the brook will lose its song.

Blessings thrive in afflictions' soil.

Trouble is only opportunity in work clothes.

The difficulties of life are intended to make us better, not bitter.

It isn't the load that weights you down, it's the way you carry it.

The darkest clouds often bring the heaviest showers of blessing*

The darkness of these dark fall evenings can't win - the sun always rises in the morning.

And though our sorrows are very real they are also very temporal - joy always wins. Joy always comes in the morning.

Embrace what this trial is teaching you. Let the lessons and the learning go deep.

And don't focus there - look towards the joy that is coming your way!

Pressing into Abba

2011-11-14T11:15:00.000-08:00

"My soul clings to you;

your right hand upholds me." - Psalm 63:8 ESV

Yesterday at our church, Pastor Stuart McAlpine shared a wonderful thought on what it means to "press in" to God. He shared a story of how his girl, when she was little, would seek him out in a crowd, run towards him and then press her head between his knees and wrap her arms around his legs. He shared that maybe this is more of a picture of what it looks like to press into our Abba Father.

Why do we make spirituality so hard, restrictive, confining, un-fun, and difficult? What it really means to be spiritual is to press in to Abba. Sometimes when we grab on to Him, He even swings us around!

And sometimes, we just rest in His embrace:

Chesed is at a stage where she wants to walk but isn't confident yet. So she holds onto my pants legs and "walks" with me, one step at a time. She holds on for dear life. Eventually, she will grow more confident in her ability to walk by herself. But while she is learning to walk, she presses in and holds on tight! Isn't this such a picture of our spiritual walk?

And what happens when we start to grow up? Well, Grace runs and plays and laughs and then, spontaneously, runs towards me and presses her head between my knees and wraps her arms around my legs, "I love you, Mommy." She doesn't have to do this. She wants to. She desires and needs my affection to keep growing. Maybe not physically, but certainly emotionally.

"Because you've always stood up for me, I'm free to run and play. I hold on to you for dear life,
and you hold me steady as a post" - Psalm 63:8, the Message

So, what about the days or weeks or months or years when we run away? When we think we can do just fine without Abba?

We can wake up. Like the prodigal son, we can "come to our senses" and turn towards home. But guess what? Here's the great news! Before we even reach our Abba, He will run to us, scoop us up, wrap us in His love and tender mercy. Now THAT is amazingly lavish grace!

We never outgrow our need for intimacy with our Heavenly Father, our Abba. Its not hard. So no matter how long it has been, no matter how far you have run from Him, just make the choice to press into His love today and you will not be disappointed! His love is the kind that never fails!

A Champion for the Children

2011-11-10T12:01:00.001-08:00

"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed.Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice." (Proverbs 31:8-9)

My heart is breaking right now and I can't hold in the pain. So excuse me while I pour out my lament for the children in our world today. This is from the heart of a mother. A mother who knows what it is like to carry two children, to feel the pains of labor, to birth them with joy into the world, and to realize that in spite of my own selfishness, the God-given desire and instinct that is even deeper in me is to lay down my life to care for, love, nurture, enrich, and defend them. I think most mothers are this way. We have a bond that can't be broken because of our fierce protective nature for our children.

I think most of us know what we would do if anyone laid a hand on our children. I won't write it, okay, you just know. We do everything that we can to protect our children from the evil in this world. But what about the other children? Children that aren't our own by blood, but are children of God nonetheless; children who are being abandoned, abused, mistreated, orphaned, sold into slavery? I know, I know. Its not nice to think about. Its not nice to talk about it. It makes my stomach turn and my heart break whenever I hear of another child who has been abused or mistreated or abandoned.

But we must talk about it. We must write about it. We must fight for the children.

We need to be advocates for our children, our neighbors children, our friend's children, and children that we don't see each day - children across the world who we easily forget are struggling each day just to survive.

What are some things you can do to be a Champion for the Children?

1. In lieu of the Penn State scandal, you could host an adult training for your group or organization from Adults Protecting Children to help educate adults and parents in your community about how they can protect children from sexual abuse.

2. Consider supporting the A21 Campaign, an organization that has opened a shelter for victims of human trafficking, many of whom are children. A21 is a voice for the voiceless and exists to prevent people from being trafficked, protect and support those who have been trafficked, prosecute traffickers and strengthen legal response to trafficking, and partner with law enforcement, service providers, and community members to provide a comprehensive front against trafficking.

3. Jesus said that "Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you." (James 1:27). I have been reading an incredible book called "Kisses from Katie," a girl who, at 19 years old gave up everything comfortable and certain and predictable in her cushy American life to go to Uganda to care for the orphans there. As she opened her heart to how God might want to use her, she began to open her home to young girls whose parents had died or who had abandoned them. She has adopted 13 of these girls as her own children and she is in her early 20s! Consider sponsoring one of the children that Katie's nonprofit, Amazima, cares for and supports.

This week was a rough one for our family as my baby girl, Chesed, had a high fever - spiking at 105 one night, which resulted in a trip to the E.R. (my first ever with a sick child). But I am thankful. So thankful that we have an E.R. to go to, that we can pay for it, that I can hold my child and soothe her and administer ibuprofen and tylenol and cool drinks. That I can make sure she is well cared for when she is ill. But many children today do not have caretakers and mommies to fight for them and care for them when they are sick or hurting. My heart goes out to them today and I can't help but ask God to open my eyes to even more ways that I could help. Maybe you feel as I do. Let's ask God together:

Lord, I am your servant. Open my eyes to the poor and needy around me. Open and enlarge my heart to care for the abused, the orphaned, and the abandoned children of this world. Show me how I can make a difference in the world today, because the children of this world need champions.

When Adults Act Like Children

2011-10-31T11:16:00.000-07:00

What you dislike in another take care to correct in yourself. ~ Thomas Sprat

Yesterday afternoon was a beautiful fall Sunday and after putting the girls down for their naps, I decided that I would take a short trip to the spa (meaning that I would go grocery shopping unattended by children). To heighten the experience, I decided to get a lovely Pumpkin Spice latte at the espresso bar in my local Wegmans (gotta love Wegmans, peeps!)

I arrived at the store and got in line for a latte. A lady behind me was with her two or three year old little girl and it was clear that they were going to get a fun afternon treat together. Her child naturally picked out a chocolate donut with sprinkles on it (I smiled as my Gracie would do the same). Her mom picked out a yogurt and granola parfait (sensible).

As I waited for the barista to prepare my latte, I watched the child receive her donut and promptly plop down on the floor next to the cashier to begin to enjoy her treat. After one apparently unsuccessful prompt to the child to "get up," I witnessed a breakdown and tantrum occur. No, not from the toddler, but from the mother. She turned from a calm, lovely looking woman into a snarling monster of a person, screaming at her daughter to "GET UP NOW! WE ARE NOT EATING THAT HERE! THESE PEOPLE ARE IN LINE!" and then throwing the poor girl underneath the shopping cart (the area I usually reserve for large quantities of toilet paper or paper towels) to dissolve into a puddle of sobs as they rapidly exited the store, leaving everyone a bit shocked and embarrassed to have witnessed such a dramatic exchange.

Don't get me wrong. I have seen this scene (on a variety of levels) numerous times. I have lost my temper with Grace multiple times. So I am not condemning this woman. But there was something about how she treated her child in this moment that caused my heart to fall into my stomach. Drinking my wonderful latte, I felt sick - sadness and remorse for the girl and for her mother. A wonderful afternoon "treat time" ruined.

From an outsider's perspective, the little girl really didn't do anything wrong. She just wanted to eat her donut. I don't blame her (they are good donuts!) The mother just couldn't handle the seeming pressure of the line behind her and thus thrust her insecurity and feeling of being "out of control" of the situation at her child.

It's a funny thing when you have the chance to see someone making a mistake or failure that you could have easily made yourself (to one degree or another - I mean, I hope I would never throw my daughters under my grocery cart! :) It's like watching a video of your past and wincing, knowing what is coming next but having no power to stop it. Or, from a different angle it is like having the chance to see your own potential failing and allowing that other person's failure to change you, to humble you, to rock your world, to open your eyes to something....from awakening (I could behave like that?!!) to acknowledgement (in my heart, I know I have behaved like that at times)....to resolution and prayer (I will NOT behave like that! Lord Jesus, please help me to never treat my children like that!)

What good is done when in attempting to get a child to "behave" we lose our tempers and behave more poorly than they do? We only teach them that we care more about how we appear to others (even strangers) than how we handle their precious hearts and how we communicate to them in public. Like I said, I am NOT judging or condemning this woman. But by God's grace, I want to learn from her mistake.

I had been sobered by a moment of unavoidable observation. I had turned introspective, meditative even, convicted for sure. As the saying which has often been attributed to John Bradford goes, "There, but by the grace of God, go I..."

Children are precious gifts of God to be handled with care. My thoughts swarmed...how often do we wound those closest to us, those entrusted to our care, who we are supposed to be examples for, in an effort to "save face" to appear "together" or "in control" (yeah right, every mother knows that even the most well behaved children have their days!) and all of this for others we may not even see again.

I placed the groceries in the car slowly, deliberately.

The phrase "Take Care" kept passing through my mind. Take Care - I placed the fragile eggs in their own space in the front seat next to me. Take Care - Parting words meant to show, well, care, when we are leaving a friend and saying goodbye. But perhaps an exhortation as well - Take Care. Little hearts are fragile (so are big ones). Handle with care.

Trying to Paint

2011-10-27T08:02:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking lately about the concept of wasted time. I think its because one of my life verses is Ephesians 5:16 "Make the most of every opportunity, redeeming the time because the days are evil."

If you happen to be a Type A, Melancholy or perfectionist, 'get it done' personality like me, when you read this verse you may likely think, "God wants me to be the most productive that I can be - for His Kingdom obviously (first) and just in general as well."

While productivity is obviously not a bad thing in and of itself (Scripture admonishes us often about the perils of laziness and the benefits of hard work), I think we as Americans may miss the greater meaning of well-spent time. If you have a few minutes to waste (ha!), consider reading this great article in the NY Times.

This passage isn't simply talking to us about being productive or even running around telling everyone about Jesus 24/7. The key words in this passage (when looking at a few translations) are : wisdom, opportunity, redeeming, responsibility, purpose, thoughtful.

I like how the J.B. Phillips version puts it, "Live life, then, with a due sense of responsibility, not as men who do not know the meaning and purpose of life but as those who do. Make the best use of your time, despite all the difficulties of these days. Don’t be vague but firmly grasp what you know to be the will of God" (Ephesians 5:15-17).

What did Jesus say is the meaning and purpose of life? Well, He did say that we are to "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need." (Matthew 6:33, NLT). He also said that the whole Law and the Prophets are summed up in this one thing ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,’and ‘your neighbor as yourself’” (Luke 10:27).

To live thoughtfully and to redeem the time is to know what God's will is and to do it. Seems pretty clear
from these passages, right? Seek first God's Kingdom. Love God. Love Others. So why then do so many of us feel guilty a lot about our use of time? Why do we often look with regret at the end of the day and think about all we didn't seem to accomplish?

I would argue that perhaps we have lost sight of the end goal: glorifying God, loving Him, loving others. When our task list masters us and every undone thing mocks us with the accusation of uselessness, we have ceased to live lives of grace and purpose and have become slaves to productivity.

When we have enough time to check out email 100 times a day but "not enough time" to stop and talk to our neighbor for a spell or play ball with our child or call Grandma, we have lost sight of what is truly "the will of God for us."

And its not just about time. Its about stuff, too. And money. And, well, everything for that matter.

How many activities is your child involved in? Is it enough? Are they producing enough? Learning enough? Becoming what they ought to be? Are you? And by whose definition?

There is something wired into the DNA of children that I want to humble myself daily and learn from. In this season while I am at home with my girls, I have the privilege to do so, if I am willing. God made their work to be play and their play to be work. Meaning, in some crazy way, they grow and thrive and learn and develop and produce most when they are happily engaged and energized and play.

It's been a rainy few days here in the D.C. area. Yesterday afternoon, I pulled out some finger paints and paper that a friend gave Grace for her birthday. These are special paints that appear clear but when you put them on the paper they turn into different colors. She loved glopping on the paint and was ecstatic when she saw it turn colors. The only problem was that there were very small amounts of paint to use and she was just glopping all of it onto one page, making a huge mess, and loving it.

I, being a very wise and productive mother (sarcasm at work here!), knew that she was wasting this special paint and determined to advise her to "savor" her paint accordingly so that she could use it again on another rainy day. But every time I said, "Grace, you are wasting all the paint," she refused to look up and just said, "Mama, I am trying to paint...MaMA, I am trying to paint." I had missed the point. The point wasn't to save the paint. The point was to paint. And to use it up happily in the painting, that was savoring for Grace. And to save it, well, that would just be delaying fun and hoarding potential delight. Alas, I was wrong and she was right.

Take what you have been given today and offer it to God. Pray that all you have and are will glorify Him. Seek His Kingdom - Loving People and working with the greater purpose of His Kingdom in mind. Don't focus on productivity today. Focus on life. Productivity is sure to follow. And things that get used up or broken or worn out, well, don't worry about it. Just keep trying to paint. The colors of your life come out most brilliantly when you just stop caring what it all is supposed to look like.

2011-10-23T12:36:00.000-07:00

Hungry for God's Love

There is nothing like cold weather to make a person hungry! Something about fall and winter time leave me facing every meal with new gusto. I love making big salads for meals usually, but once cold weather hits, it is clear that "a salad alone just won't cut it." Hearty soups, hot homemade bread, stuffed squash and pumpkin fill my kitchen this time of year, to my family's joy.

Other areas of our lives get empty regularly, too. My father ingrained in me when I started driving to "never let the car go below 1/4 tank full...it's bad for the longevity of the car and you don't ever want to find yourself on empty with no gas station nearby." Wise advise from a wise man. To this day, whenever I let my car get to empty, I feel a sense of dismay, knowing that Father's advise still resonate in my heart from youth.

Today, I take a moment to reflect about how regularly and rapidly I seek to make sure my hungry belly is full with food, or my car is full with gas, and I stop to consider how quick I am to make sure my heart is full with God's love and presence, which is obviously much more important. There is only one source that can fill my hungry heart: God's love.

This is where me, we, all of us humans get easily confused and mistaken. We are experiencing hunger, need, pain even - but we may go to the wrong source to have it filled. You may be hungry for genuine fellowship. Don't choose to go shopping instead. You may be hungry for time alone with God and in His Word. Don't raid the fridge instead. You may desperately need some fresh air and a hearty walk spent gazing at the bright blue of the sky contrasting with the fiery reds and oranges and golds of the autumn leaves. Don't hunker down in a dark room and watch a sitcom instead. There is always a source of fullness and supply for the hunger we are facing. Are you going to the right source for the hunger you face today?

We are all hungry for something and it is foolish if we think we aren't. Obviously, we can be hungry for the wrong things - things that will be damaging and destructive to ourselves and those around us. It is helpful to know that our ultimate need, our ultimate hunger as humans is only found and fulfilled in Christ. Matthew 5:6 in the Message Version says, "You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat." And an amazing thing happens when you allow your hungry heart to be quenched by God's unconditional love. You will find your heart beginning to overflow with a desire to share that love with others, because His Amazing Love never ends or runs dry.

As Mother Teresa said, "The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread." Are you hungry today? Maybe tried a few sources that didn't satisfy? Why not take a moment to ask God to fill you anew with His love? The others you overflow on will be glad you did!

Grace and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

2011-10-14T11:56:00.001-07:00

Grace is having a hard day. Let me be honest - she is having a hard week. Funny how just last week I was telling Joel how well she has been doing in terms of responding to my requests, sharing with others, helping her sister, respecting adults, and the like.

And then...this week began. My cheery, helpful little girl has been extremely emotional and stubborn, throwing fits when I turn off her cartoon program or even when her socks aren't put on correctly. Needless to say, this has been exhausting not only for her, but for me and Joel as well.

I have prayed daily for patience and restraint so that instead of become a cranky ball of emotional mush myself I can help her "count to 10," "catch a bubble," and "take a deep breath" just one more time. Last night she refused to eat her dinner but demanded pumpkin pie. When Joel made it very clear that wouldn't happen without dinner first, she looked at me, tears in her eyes. "Mama," she said, looking me straight in the eyes, "I am having a hard time."

I knew that look well and my heart melted in compassion at that moment. "I understand, Grace (I thought). I have had many days, many weeks, where I was having a hard time, too."

What Grace meant was, "I don't like how I am acting. I don't like my own behavior and actions right now. I know they aren't right, but I don't know how to change." Now, she can't fully express this right now, but in her own way, she sure did: "Mama, I am having a hard time."

Now, let me just tell you that as a parent, there are many ways to respond when your child is showing unruly, stubborn, disrespectful behavior. We have responded harmfully and helpfully in such situations, that is for sure. But Joel and I realize that our daughter not only needs discipline and boundaries in order to change, more importantly she needs our unconditional love and affirmation that we love her, we believe in her, we are for her, no matter if she is acting like a charming little angel or, well, something much worse :)

I looked at my daughter, My Grace Yael. Her very name shines light on her darkness, indicating that there is, indeed, grace available to her for change. But she must first know confidently that she is loved even in the middle of her poor behavior, her acting out, her fits and rages. She must first calm her heart by a lullaby of love sung by her Daddy. I am confident that my daughter is becoming, day by day, a beautiful, loving, caring, thoughtful little girl. But she is going through an emotional growth spurt, so to speak. And sometimes when we are growing, we fall down more, harder....and it hurts.

Have you had a bad day, or a bad week, like Grace? Do you feel like licking your wounds and hiding in a corner to pout about your regrettable behavior, or the way you have been treated wrongly by others, or what you didn't get that you think you should have, or what has gone all wrong? Don't. There is a light shining on you, beckoning you to come out and bask in its warmth. It is called the Unconditional Love of Your Heavenly Father. At your worst, He still loves you His Most. You can't do anything to make God love you more, and you can't do anything to make Him love you less. You are Loved, Child.

Though you fall, you can rise again. Though you stumble, you can still emerge victorious. Though you are disciplined and chastened, you will be proven as sons and daughters and that, my friend, is good news. As one of my favorite characters, Anne Shirley says, "Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it." So turn the corner and whistle a happy tune and say, "You know, I think they have days like this...even in Australia." :)

A Tribute to My Husband

2011-10-11T10:23:00.000-07:00

Marriage is not easy - you have been alone and independent and doing whatever you want for however many decades and then comes this person who you love tremendously - so much that you willingly choose to relinquish that independence and solo life and trade it in for an interdependent life with a partner. A partner you love like crazy but who definitely does some things differently than you do. There will be arguments, frustrations, miscommunications, different expectations, adversity....you get the picture. But if you choose to work through those things, your marriage grows even stronger and your love grows even deeper.

Then there is marriage with kids. There are entirely new challenges to this season of life - especially when children are small. Spontaneous dates now have to be planned with babysitting budgeted in first, important conversations have to wait until after the kids go to bed (at which time one or both of you may be close to exhaustion), cuddly and lingering Saturday mornings are exchanged for a 7am wake up call from the other room, "Mom-MEEE! Da-DEEE! I'm ALL DONE SLEEPING!!! I need BREAK-FAST!" :) you get the picture.

I am learning by observation of my friends and my own life that this is a season (having small children) where marriages are often tested immensely. How do you continue to focus energy on your spouse when your work and your kids seem to take every ounce of energy and time that you have? How do you keep your love strong in the midst of ongoing interruptions and challenges?

Well, one way is to remember your wedding day. Remember what was going on in your mind. Remember why you married this person in the first place. Remember....lest you forget how blessed you really are. That is my attempt today. Won't you join me in this happy remembering?

Over a decade ago, I met Joel David Thomas en route to Ghana, West Africa. Many of you know our story, so I'll save the time and just say that after about 15 minutes of time talking to him, I knew I had never met any other guy like this one. In addition to being handsome and super fun to be around, he shined so brightly with love for His Maker. As I observed him day in and day out in the rural villages of Ghana, my heart was filled with love for him. I remember praying, "God, if you will let me marry Joel Thomas, I will do anything you want me to!" Not necessarily the purest prayer of consecration for service, but hey...I was in love.

My prayer was answered. In August 2002, I married my bridegroom, my soulmate. We've been kind of a crazy, nomadic pair since our union and we love it - living in Chicago, New York, and Washington D.C. , moving about a dozen times, living by faith from day to day, trusting God for our next meal or our next home, traveling the world to 19 countries for 6 months together, and then...becoming planted in an area (D.C.), buying our first home, having our first child...and then our second.

So many things have changed, grown, developed, happened since the day we said our vows at that altar before friends and family. But the things that are most important haven't changed:

- I love my husband with all my heart

- I am committed to walking with him in unity and serving God together as a team

- There is no one that I would rather live my life with than him.

Now he is 30, but he still has just as much of a child-like, happy heart as the day I first met him; he still gets super loud, excited, and passionate when he is talking about anything he really believes, he is still incredibly in love with and committed to his family (which now includes two daughters!), and he still knows how to turn a stranger into his new best friend.

These are just a handful of the things I love so much about him. But by remembering them, I am filling my mind and heart with memories that produce gratitude. It is often said that it is easiest to take for granted those who are closest to us....and I don't want to take Joel for granted.

So today, honey, I want to say I love you for all to hear and see. I appreciate you, love you, and am committed to growing and going with you on this journey together. Thank you for standing with me, believing in me, loving me just for who I am, loving our daughters with a love only Daddy can bring. You are a jewel and I am making the remembrance of you and the thanking of God for you a re-occurring practice....because I don't ever want to forget how incredibly blessed I am to be your wife.

A Friday Inspirational!

2011-10-07T04:45:00.000-07:00

Well, I don't know about you, but this has been a looong week for the Thomas family! Some days it is hard just to get up out of bed with a spring in your step to tackle the day. But I am pushing towards the spring and the tackle kind of start rather than pulling and trudging. Today's the only day I've got! When I awoke this morning, this poem came to my mind and I thought it would be a great one to share with you all this Friday. Enjoy!

Keep a-Goin'

(by Frank L. Stanton c1920)

If you strike a thorn or rose,
Keep a-goin'!
If it hails of if it snows,
Keep a-goin'!
'Taint no use to sit an'whine
When the fish ain't on your line;
Bait your hook an' keep a-tryin'-
Keep a-goin'!

When the weather kills your crop,
Keep a-goin'!
Though 'tis work to reach the top,
Keep a-goin'!
S'pose you're out o' ev'ry dime,
Gittin' broke ain't any crime;
Tell the world you're feelin' prime -
Keep a-goin'!

When it looks like all is up,
Keep a-goin'!
Drain the sweetness from the cup,
Keep a-goin'!
See the wild birds on the wing,
Hear the bells that sweetly ring,
When you feel like sighin', sing -
Keep a-goin'!

Do You Love Your Job?

2011-09-28T10:42:00.000-07:00

This is somewhat of an odd topic for my blog, but for whatever reason this is the subject matter that was filling my brain in the middle of my jog this morning in a very, very intense downpour as I watched people driving to work. Why? I think perhaps because while some people love their jobs, many get up in the morning sighing, dragging their feet to get out the door to perform a job that they don't like very much or even despise, for that matter.

They wish for something with more flexibility, to make more money, to serve more people, to use their gifts and talents more, to make a difference in the world, to name a few things. These are fine aspirations and I have had all of them as well at different seasons of my life.

Right now I am a stay at home mom of two and loving it. It's not easy for sure, but I wouldn't trade what I do for any other job in this season. In fact, I realize that I am very fortunate to have this opportunity. But B.C. (Before Children), I held several different positions in a variety of workplaces. Some of them I LOVED. Others....well, let's just say I literally began a lament on Sunday night knowing that I would have to get up on Monday morning and go in and do that work. But I did it anyways. I have been in a job where I felt like I was punching numbers like a machine all day and felt numb by 5pm. I have been in a job where I was treated very poorly by my boss (trust me, that job didn't last long!) I have been in a job where I sat by a window in a beautiful office and wrote devotionals and spiritual growth material for my work - and had an amazing boss - this was idyllic, but again, didn't last very long. Interestingly enough, in each of these positions, I saw the hand of God at work in and through my life!

I can be very idealistic about work and I think many in my generation and those even younger (in their 20's now) are so as well - perhaps even more so. We want to do what we want to do not necessarily just for money, but because we believe in the work and what it is accomplishing. We want to do work because we enjoy it and find fulfillment in it.

However, the reality is, even when we are in our dream jobs, there are days when we don't enjoy our work very much. Why? Because we deal with people :) ha! isn't it so true? and deadlines, and malfunctions, and delays. It's also true that even in the jobs that we have despised, we can have good days. I think so much of our ability to enjoy our work has to do with our attitudes first and foremost.

Sometimes taking a step back and beginning with thankfulness for our job will open our eyes to see the blessings that particular job brings to us and opens for us. The reality is that many in America are without jobs right now. So if you have one, you should be thankful for it. Period. And if that thought doesn't make you thankful, go and rent Cinderella Man and watch it and then thank God that you aren't living during the Great Depression and starving. Seriously.

Starting with gratitude will invigorate you for the task at hand. Martin Luther King Jr. said "Whatever your life's work is, do it well. A man should do his job so well that the living, the dead, and the unborn could do it no better." The Bible echos such sentiment in Ecclesiastes 9:10 "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going." And in Proverbs 14:23 we are admonished, "In all labor, there is profit."

Whatever your work, you can do it unto the glory of God. And obviously, not just when you are a pastor or leader in the church. I love what Martin Luther said on this subject:"The maid who sweeps her kitchen is doing the will of God just as much as the monk who prays -- not because she may sing a Christian hymn as she sweeps but because God loves clean floors. The Christian shoemaker does his Christian duty not by putting little crosses on the shoes, but by making good shoes, because God is interested in good craftsmanship."

I hope you are encouraged to do your work today with a thankful attitude and a spirit of excellence. Pray that God will use you to be a blessing to others in your place of work. If you would like to be in a different position, work towards it and ask God for an open door at the right time. Until then, make the choice to labor where you are with joy, knowing that each day of work is a gift indeed.

Remembering Lest We Forget

2011-09-27T09:46:00.000-07:00

Chesed is learning to walk. She is doing this by being assisted by us - all three of us, actually! One day she will take those first unassisted steps and I assure you that from that point on, she will have no need of our help to keep walking! She will probably be like virtually every baby before her, giggling with glee as she tromps around the house.

Growth brings with it degrees of independence and confidence. These are natural and healthy and expected for children.

How does growth happen? In stages, really. It is so obvious with children - first they roll over, then they crawl, then they pull up to standing, then they walk, etc. One stage begets another. Each brings with it a new degree of independence. Each stage folds into the next, overlapping by moments which liken to memorial stones if we will take the moment, plant it, dutifully mark it in our memory banks.

The moment will come when I will let go of Chesed's hand - and she will walk - on her own. And she will not look back at me or Joel or Grace as her aids in the process. She will have conquered one obstacle and move on to the next. And this is right and normal and good.

But there are times that forgetting who helped us get where we are is not alright.

As adults, our journey of growth and development continues. Education. Relationships. Career. Training. Hobbies. Family. Spirituality. It is very, very easy in this rat race of life to forget where we came from. To forget all that others have invested in us to help us get where we are. To forget God Himself who made us, endowed us with gifts and talents, and has preserved us and kept us until this very day.

Why is this? We are by nature a prideful people - self sufficient and self-ruled. And yet, whether we realize it or not, we rely on others every day. To drive us to work. To help us complete tasks. To care for our children. To bring us our mail. To take out our trash. And the list goes on and on. This dependency is highlighted in times of hardship, crisis, sickness, difficulty. We need people. We can't get through this life alone.

We need God, too. Every day , every hour, every moment. We need His help and guidance to walk in a way that is pleasing to Him, to have discernment for how we invest our time, finances, and gifts. To have wisdom to raise our children and nurture our families. To serve and care for our friends in their moments of need. To hold our tongues when we want to lash out in anger. To lift a song of praise when we want to grumble and complain. Yes, we need Him. I need Him.

So no matter how advanced in life you get, no matter how far you have come, no matter the state of life you have attained, don't forget. Don't forget the people who helped you get where you are - and perhaps take the time to thank them. And most importantly, don't forget God.

Scripture is packed full of examples of the times when God's people grew fat, wealthy, self-sufficient....and then forgot Him.

Hosea 11:3, God laments this forgetfulness:

"I myself taught Israel how to walk,

leading him along by the hand.
But he doesn’t know or even care
that it was I who took care of him."

Deuteronomy 8:11-18 brings the admonition well:

The Message (MSG)

"Make sure you don't forget God, your God, by not keeping his commandments, his rules and regulations that I command you today. Make sure that when you eat and are satisfied, build pleasant houses and settle in, see your herds and flocks flourish and more and more money come in, watch your standard of living going up and up—make sure you don't become so full of yourself and your things that you forget God, your God,

the God who delivered you from Egyptian slavery;
the God who led you through that huge and fearsome wilderness, those desolate, arid badlands crawling with fiery snakes and scorpions;
the God who gave you water gushing from hard rock;
the God who gave you manna to eat in the wilderness, something your ancestors had never heard of, in order to give you a taste of the hard life, to test you so that you would be prepared to live well in the days ahead of you.

^17-18 If you start thinking to yourselves, "I did all this. And all by myself. I'm rich. It's all mine!"—well, think again. Remember that God, your God, gave you the strength to produce all this wealth so as to confirm the covenant that he promised to your ancestors—as it is today."

So don't forget where you came from. Don't forget who helped get you where you are. Who helped shape you - make you who you are. And most importantly, don't forget God. Take a moment today to humble yourself before Him and acknowledge all of the times He provided when you thought there was nothing, opened a door of great opportunity when you were about to give up, brought help through another when you desperately needed it, and the list goes on.

With the first step, remember. With the millionth step, remember. It was Him then. It is Him now - His hand guiding and helping you along.

Knocking on My House Door

2011-09-23T13:14:00.000-07:00

Grace has a house of her own. Its in the sunporch and is huge and plastic and pink. Its her own little dwelling place, so to speak. It was given to us by one of our awesome neighbors whose daughter is on to "bigger and better things" ha!

This is her pad. She hosts tea parties, corrects her stuffed animals and lines up her baby dolls to eat breakfast, receive medicine, take their naps, or just listen to her, for goodness sake. She sings in her house. She daydreams in her house. She loves to close the windows and just BE in her house. It's her special place for sure.

A few months ago, Grace did something interesting. She's had the house since Chesed was born (perfect timing for a huge diversion!) but only until recently did she start what I call "the Pursuit." I will be in my "busy-get-things-DONE-don't-disturb-Mom" mode and at the height of my frenzied activity she will usually come in and say "Momma, will you come and knock on my house door?" Actually, if I am going to be precise she says, "Momma, come knock on my door house!" I don't know why she swaps the two words. She's two. I'm not asking questions.

What she means is, "Momma, will you come and spend time with me - alone - in my favorite place - the place that is all MINE? Momma, will you come in and experience it with me? Can we just be together?" Now, being the spiritually perceptive and emotionally responsive Mother that I am, I always respond, "YES, OF COURSE, GRACE! I would LOVE TO!" Well, some of the time. Here's the truth - 99% of the time I end up going to knock on her house door. After a very long delay of getting all my "important" activity done. Then I go and there she is, feeding and tending her dolls, getting my "meal" ready for me, waiting and ready. Waiting for me.

Recently in the midst of my cooking or cleaning or calling or whatever I was doing when she asked me to come and knock on her house door, I thought about Christ's call. You know the one?

“Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends." - Revelation 3:20

Christ invites me to come - in fact - He comes to me. He stands at the door of my heart and knocks. He is such a Gentleman. He doesn't demand entry. But He does promise that if I open the door to Him that will will have friendship. intimacy. Joy.

Friendship with God. If I will just stop when He calls to come away for a moment - turn my thoughts towards prayer instead of my to-do list. He will come and invade my work and give it meaning and give me life and joy in the midst of it.

My life is so full of so much of God's love if I have eyes to see. It is all around me - and often, it is through my children that I see the face of Christ. It is through Grace today.

I want this with Him. And I want this with her, too.

My heart reaches out to Grace: Oh my child, of course I will come and enter your house, enter your heart, enter your life. in fact, I love to. I desire to. I am not too preoccupied with busywork, with running through the motions, with anything actually. Nothing is more important in this moment than being with you.

She invites me now into her house. Into her little quiet personal place and space. And if I say yes now when she is 2, and we sit and have tea parties and just talk, I know - something in me says - it is much more likely that she will invite me in - to her little quiet personal place and space - again. When she is 10. 12. 16. 25. Hopefully she will learn over time to trust that when she needs me, I will be there for her.

Jesus is always standing, knocking, desiring entry into our hearts. Do you hear Him? Do you see Him smiling, wanting friendship with you - now and always?

We all have at times ignored the knock, but He is so gracious. He just keeps knocking and waits patiently - because He really loves us that much.

Will you open your heart to Him today? Will you spend some time - just the two of you, just talking? Every time you answer, open, let Him in - you will build friendship - build trust. It just might be the most important call you answer today!

Why I'm saying NO to Smart Phones (not that there's anything wrong with them)

2011-09-16T12:57:00.000-07:00

hi folks, so if you want a fun lazy Saturday video to watch that is bound to give you a laugh, check out my favorite current TV commercial, "Really?"

This video pretty much sums up my pet peeve about Smart Phones in general. Yes, I do not have a Smart Phone. I think they are cool and convenient and I have heard a myriad of people, including my PARENTS :) telling me how great they are and many folks are chiming in with "HOW DID WE LIVE WITHOUT THESE?" Ok, i get this. I really do, actually. I mean, what did we ever do without cell phones? I don't know. Use pay phones? Sing and talk and even pray while driving?

There is nothing wrong with Smart Phones. They are not bad or sinful or going to kill you (at least we don't know that yet, right? :) But they are incredibly diverting, distracting, calling you to check them at every moment - convenient or inconvenient, necessary or unnecessary. And I am going to be straight up with you my friend - they are robbing a LOT of people out there of a LOT of moments that constitute their real lives. Just check out the "Really" commercial. We laugh at this, but it is absolutely true of our culture. Well, I can't necessarily speak to South Dakota (not that there is anything wrong about South Dakota) but I can speak to what I see in the DC area. We gotta have our Smart Phone fix. It is just as addictive as coffee or nicotine or alcohol or any other vice.

Smart Phone, internet, tv - these are all benign, incredibly helpful, time-saving, useful devices and inventions of our century. When they are not used to replace life, escape reality completely, engage in harmful or destructive activities.

So, just in case anyone out there is still wondering, I am not against Smart Phones. I just dont have one now because I honestly don't need any more distractions in my life. I actually think its good that the only internet access I have is limited to my iMac that is stationary, at a desk. Because it makes me think before I sit down to use it - do I really need to check my email - again? Do i really need to search for X item on the internet? Do I really need...you get the picture. It is especially prominent to me why I am glad I don't have a smart phone when I am engaging with other people. I'm one of those strange people that doesnt like to pick up phone calls (unless emergencies) when I am with other people. I love texting but changed my "text notification" to a small buzz so it doesn't distract me and make me think I "have to" snatch up my phone every time it buzzes, interrupt whatever I am doing, just to see that someone said "so cute" to a picture I sent of Grace :)

The point is, I want to live in each moment of my life. Fully there. Intentionally engaged. Not half-there, half-focused, plugged into a machine that is sucking my attention from the people in front of me. It is a very real temptation of our generation. Will we engage people more than machines? Will we develop real community, face to face with people, more than online? (Not that online community is bad - you get my picture!)

Would love to hear your thoughts on this. For me, for now, I am wary of more distractions. I don't want to miss sunsets or giggles or thunderstorms or a great conversation because I was glued to a glowing screen. So I am saying "No" to Smart Phones. :)

Join the revolution. Just kidding. But seriously, I would love to hear your thoughts on this!

What is True Joy?

2011-09-13T10:57:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but there are days and sometimes weeks where joy, true joy, can appear elusive - just outside of your grasp.

I have lived long enough to know that true joy doesn't come from circumstances being idyllic. We all would love our "perfect" day, right? To wake wonderfully rested and ready to conquer the world - open the windows (with no dust on them) to the sun shining and birds singing. A Starbucks barista with a smiling face greets you in your kitchen with a piping hot White Mocha (or your beverage of choice). You have unlimited free time. Time to exercise. Time to play. Time to work on unfinished projects. Time to just laugh and rest and smell the roses. You are engaged in wonderfully productive projects that are changing the world as we know it and improving society and even furthering the Kingdom of God. Your husband (or wife) is amazingly thoughtful, romantic, loving, and serving. Your children are well-behaved, happy, healthy, and thriving. You never get a parking ticket and always find a parking spot in the city. IN fact, a policeman ushers you into an open spot with a smile :) Organic food at the market is half priced and you get a fun, unexpected package in the mail. Ok, and I am sure there are other things in your idyll, but these are just a few of mine.

The only problem is, this is often not our reality. Life is full of problems and difficulties and disappointments and even suffering and evil and pain. Not every day starts well-rested or well-dusted or properly caffeinated or surrounded by other joyful, happy people.

Some days there are tickets. and arguments. and sickness.

Some days there are earthquakes and broken ovens and hurricanes.

Ok, these are all things I have personally experienced lately so I am just listing a few of my own :)

But as a believer, I know that true joy is something I was destined for. It is something I have begun to crave with an unquenchable kind of hunger. I was made for joy. I was made for joy. I was made for joy. (Say this three times and believe it). I have been reading, praying, pleading with God to show me the secrets of true joy and for His grace and strength to walk in that joy each day, regardless of what comes my way. I know that this is a life-long quest, but I am committed to it. I read of the fruits of the Holy Spirit and know that this is what I am born to bear to my God, my family, my world.

So, if joy is actually not related in any way to circumstances being idyll, where is true joy found and how does one attain it? There are so many passages I have been reading over the past week on this topic of joy, but they all contain a common theme - the Presence of God.

Just a few of my favorites:

Psalm 16:11 "You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

Psalm 21:6 "For you make him most blessed forever; you make him glad with the joy of your presence."

Thankfully, once we receive God's free gift of grace through Christ, we have unlimited access to the Presence of God. In fact, there is an incredibly encouraging passage in Romans 8 that speaks to the very subject I am discussing. If God's Presence and friendship in our lives is the key to abundant life and joy, it is an awesome thing to realize that this is the only thing that will never be taken away from us.

Let me say that again - God's loving presence is the one thing we need for abundant life and joy and it is the one thing that God promises will never be taken from us. Awesome. How do I know?

Romans 8: 37-39: "Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? ³⁶ (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”^[n]) ³⁷ No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

³⁸ And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[o] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. ³⁹ No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Friend, whatever you face today, there is good news - you don't face it alone. Don't push Christ away. He will prove to be the Forever Faithful Friend that you have always wanted and desperately need. And His love is extravagantly unconditional and has the power to lift your heart from death to life, suffering to glory, sadness to joy.

No Need To Hurry

2011-09-02T07:12:00.001-07:00

It's officially September. The smell of fall is in the air and it is truly invigorating for all who take the moment to breathe it in and appreciate it. In the months ahead, we have warmer clothes, jackets, long walks in multi-colored leaves, pumpkins and squash, apple picking and hot cocoa to look forward to...

It's officially September. Schools are starting up again and agendas and schedules begin to pack very tightly. Anxiety peaks. Stress mounts. From here 'til Christmas looks sure to be packed full, busy, over-scheduled, and basically one big blur?

You can't see it very well (couldn't find a bigger image of this painting), but I love this painting by Norman Rockwell. It is called "lift up thine eyes." The man putting the letters in the church sign which says, "life up thine eyes," while the priest looks down on the crowd below with their eyes on the ground in front of them, unwilling even to look up at each other or the sign on the church right in front of them. In contrast, doves fly towards heaven, eyes lifted, missing nothing.

Ah, busyness. This is the epidemic of the American people for sure and many other peoples as well. But does busyness and hurry produce more or less of what we truly want and need - abundant life? No! And yet we move forward from the moment we wake up to often the moment our heads hit the pillow - thinking...wrestling with our to-do list that has become unraveled and ever-widening and overwhelming us. For what?

Psalm 39:6 says, "We are merely moving shadows and all our busy rushing ends in nothing."

When I am busy, I tend to bruise myself and others far too easily. Pushing past, forgetting things and people and eyes on the task(s) I simply MUST accomplish. Or must I? Lists invigorate me and give me a sense of achievement. But they don't fulfill me, complete me, or give me joy.

God is the author of life and therefore inviting God into my life, my day, my hour, my moment - and crying out for eyes to see the purpose - His greater purpose for each of my moments here on earth - is what it really is all about. His life in me, His purpose in me, being fulfilled, filling each moment with wonder and purpose and joy and hope.

One of my favorite passages in Scripture that I often talk about is Ephesians 5:15 "see then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time because the days are evil." I think redeeming the time doesn't necessarily mean cramming it as full of projects and tasks and appointments as possible so that you don't have room to breathe. I don't think "redeeming the time," is equated with busyness.

"Redeeming" in this passage is the Greek word exagorazo which means "to buy up for one's self, to make wise and sacred use of every opportunity for doing good, so that zeal and well-doing are as it were the purchase money by which we make the time our own." Perhaps buying up every opportunity for good means being fully in the moment, aware of its potential, and acting upon that potential by engaging in whatever works, or rest, or observation that God is calling for at that moment - employing all your faculties and resources towards God's plan for that moment. This, of course, is my own definition.

I think I have seen "redeeming the time" differently perhaps. How many productive, even God-oriented and Kingdom-building, others-serving, diligent endeavors can I possibly cram into one day? But at what pace? What pace is best for endurance and true engagement in my race? I have heard it before, but life isn't a sprint - its a marathon.

Living at the Father's Pace

My Dad is great at living and preaching what I am talking about. I can't even count the number of times he said to me and my brother:

"That guy (driving so fast and passing us by) is in a hurry to get to his own funeral."

"What's the hurry? We're SWIMMING in time!"

Such truth - life isn't an emergency (quoting Ann Voskamp here!) Yes, there are moments of genuine emergency, but our lives are not one long, unending emergency where we are to be on hyper-spastic mode all day long! Grace has taught me this as well. She wants to linger long at the butterflies, the animals, the leaves in the park, the fountains in the pool. Children don't understand rushing and hurrying. And yet we rush and hurry them all day long from one thing to the next often ordering "tie your shoes or we will be late!" "get your clothes on or we won't ever get out the door!"

Yes, it is true. We don't want to miss said activity. We don't want to be late and leave others waiting. But turning up our voices volume and increasing our blood pressure really won't produce anything good in that moment. Better to bend down, breathe deep, and tie that shoe without raising my voice. Better to be 5 minutes late in peace of heart and relationship with my daughter than on time but with tears in our eyes from unnecessary arguments.

Ann Voskamp said it well "The Hurry makes us Hurt." it hurts our hearts, our souls, our bodies, our relationships, even the work we desire to do well.

How can I, how can you, slow down your pace today, breathe deep and move to the right, Washingtonians :), take time to actually notice our surroundings, look deep into the eyes of the people in front of you and off your smart phone. Don't miss the moment. It's all you've got. You aren't promised tomorrow or even the next hour. Hallow it. Absorb it. Dwell within it - with God. Take enough time to accurately see the gift in the time in front of you.

Something that always amazes me about God is that He's got the biggest job in the whole universe and He rested on the seventh day and called all His people throughout all of history to rest as well. Seems He's not too worried we'll miss out on something. Seems He's got it all in control and something about our rest is an act of worship that says, "I'm trusting you."

A Hurricane Produces Rest

2011-08-30T12:56:00.000-07:00

" God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
² Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
³ though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging" - Psalm 46:1-3

The last week has been quite a stressful one for many on the East Coast.

In addition to adding "Create an Emergency Kit for my Family" to my "to do list" I have also added Pepco.com to my "Top Sites" list on the internet.

So...earlier in the week, we had the earthquake. Biggest one in DC area in 114 years. Then Saturday Irene hit and we hunkered down. We were supposed to go out of town with our good friends, the Schultz family, to West VA to be out of the path of the hurricane completely, but on Friday I noticed that I was starting to feel ill and ended up with a painful infection called Mastitis. For those of you who want to know more about this (who don't) you can look it up. I will spare you the details only to say that I had a migraine headache, flu-like symptoms, and lots of pain. It was pretty miserable.

As I drove to my doctor early Saturday morning, pre-Hurricane, I kept thinking what a crazy week it has been. I got to the doctor and found myself waiting too long for the amount of pain that I was in. First time ever: broke down crying when the doctor finally saw me.

Saturday it rained and poured and rained and poured and the wind blew strong. Our power went out about 9pm that night. Carrying my candlestick to bed, I felt like Josephine March from Little Women. I lay in bed that night, throbbing, thinking about how grateful I was that we had a home that protected us from things like hurricanes. We listened to it pour and crash outside and yet inside, we fell asleep.

The next few days, sunlight and candlelight replaced artificial light, paper plates replaced real ones, playing all sorts of crazy games inside (at least on Saturday) replaced outside park and pool time and there was No Veggie Tales or Dora the Explorer in our house. Thankfully, Grace didn't complain at all. Oddly, the one thing she cared about was that her fan and her clock didn't work in her room.

And so, there was nothing we could do and I was forced to rest for my infection anyways. And it was another reminder that I am out of control and that God is in control. I must be honest that I am not always ok with being out of control, but I want to learn how, because having control is simply an illusion - seriously - when all that is orbiting around us is "Kum-ba-ya" we think we are in control. When all falls apart, we think we are not. We never were.But God is. And on this rock, we can stand firm. I can stand firm.

They say the eye of the hurricane is a place of perfect peace when calamity swirls all around. Perhaps also the place of peace in life is with the eyes of our hearts fixed on God alone in trust. One of my favorite Scriptures is Isaiah 26:3 "You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on You, because he commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You."

The power is back on. I am beginning to heal. The smell of Autumn is in the air.

Time to turn over a new leaf with an open hand. Releasing control I never had anyways. Melting my will into His will. Embracing the pain and the plenty as my portion. And praying that I will be one who, after struggle to enter, will finally enter the rest of God. And taking heart now that He who has overcome the world will also provide me with perfect peace and confidence in the here and now, regardless of the trials I may face. His promise remains! So Selah!

John 16:33

Amplified Bible (AMP)

³³I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]

An Earthquake Produces Thanks

2011-08-24T07:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we had a 5.8 Earthquake in the DC area. Lots of folks who "felt it" are sharing with one another where they were and what they were doing when it happened. Here's our story:

I had just put the girls down for their afternoon nap. Both were asleep. Joel and I have a special set apart time of prayer on Tuesdays during lunch for our marriage and family. I had just begun to pray and (oddly) was praying that God's peace would be upon our home and family. Then the ground under me began to shake. At first I thought it was the dryer downstairs (sometimes it does seem to shake the whole house for a moment or two). As I walked towards the basement door to investigate, I was stopped in my tracks as the tremors in the house grew stronger and I had to sit back down. At the worst part of the 15-20 seconds of shaking, for a split second I thought our house was going to crack open.

It's amazing what comes to your mind in a split second like that. I have never been through an earthquake, but my heart was definitely in my throat. I felt a bit ill-prepared. "What was this?" "Was it just my house?" "Was there a gas leak? A Terror Attack? An Earthquake?" A million ideas swept through my mind but the only one that stuck was that I needed to find out. I stepped outside and my neighbors were also outside. This showed me it wasn't just my house. As we discussed the possibilities (We couldn't get in touch with anyone over the phone, of course), we decided just to be safe we should stay evacuated until we found out more.

Me and my college-aged neighbor, Katie, who has also babysat the girls before, ran into the house and got the girls out of their beds. Grace was crying because of all the excitement, Kes was simply startled. We stood out on the street, girls in their jammies, Grace in her flip flops. I couldn't get in touch with Joel. Again, for a moment, I wondered if he was o.k. I think it is interesting that most of us here (at least on my street) didn't initially just say "oh, that was an earthquake." Maybe its because of the fact (which I found out later) that we haven't had an earthquake of this magnitude in over 100 years. Either way, when we found out for sure that it was just an earthquake we were all relieved and went back into our homes.

A Moment to Reflect:

I put the girls back down to try to rest (Kes fell asleep, Grace didn't - surprise, surprise) and I tried to re-focus on prayer. It wasn't hard. I was thankful for things that an hour (or even a half hour) before I hadn't even noticed.

....Thank you, Lord, that our home is intact....that the quake wasn't stronger....that our power is on...that nothing is broken...and more importantly, that no one was hurt.

Having been in Haiti after the massive quake there, I know what earthquakes CAN do. And it is can be devastating.

It is very easy after a quake like the one we had yesterday to sigh in relief and immediately go on with our day to day routine, not even stopping to give thanks to God for His protection of our families and homes. While it shouldn't take an earthquake to get our hearts on their knees before God, but maybe sometimes a "close call" or averting a major disaster can serve the purpose of shaking us up a little bit, waking us up a little bit, helping us turn our eyes to God and remembering once again how blessed our lives are. It did that for me, as well as reminding me of the certain truth that my peace doesn't spring from peaceful circumstances but from a quiet inner trust of my heart in God's hands.

So, whether you felt the earthquake yesterday or not, what are you thankful for today?

Embracing Your Life

2011-08-22T10:49:00.000-07:00

One of my very best friends, Nicole, and I met together at Eastern Market Sunday afternoon for tea and coffee. There really is nothing like quality time with a dear friend. We shared about what is going on in each of our lives and when she asked the typical question "what's new with you?", I found myself simply bubbling over with excitement and joy.

Maybe its the realization that I'm changing.

As a mom of two small kids with a choleric/melancholy personality, too often I have found myself beginning days mentally tired and end days physically exhausted, feeling like I was just keeping my head above water, so to speak. Unfortunately, my thoughts at those times focused too often on what was hard about my life, my job, or the moment (ie they are both screaming and throwing things at the exact same time, for instance). I was in survival mode, so to speak.

But as a child of God, a hunger has been planted in my heart for joy and I knew joy was my destiny; abundant, thriving life was my destiny. Not merely surviving and enduring.

By the grace of God, several months ago I realized this and God's Spirit stirred me to began to research the role of women in Scripture. I began to hungrily read about all that God had done through women, spoken to women, commanded women to do and become and stand for. And as always, His Word began to accomplish its purpose in me - producing clarity of purpose, inspiration, motivation, energy, vision for my work, and most important - an ever-increasing thankfulness which is leading to an ever-increasing joy in my life!

With the help of the Almighty, I am learning day by day to love and embrace who I am, where I am, what I am doing, and where I am going like never before. It's testimony time, people! God is moving by His amazing grace in my heart!

A Missionary at Home

I used to struggle often with unholy discontentment, always thinking I should be doing more for God on some foreign soil - something more exotic or remote or just different (basically) than where I was now. If I am honest, I thought location and "important mission" was the key to my true fulfillment. But I was so wrong! As I read the Bible and other works written by God-fearing women and men and prayed for a change in my heart and mind, I began to slowly but steadily embrace each day and moment for the gift that it is. One article in particular gripped and convicted my heart that I would like to share. I am indebted to Rachel Jankovic for offering her forthright words on the topic of Motherhood as a Mission Field.

Here's the precious pearl I shared with Nicole on Sunday: upon embracing my place, my role(s), my work, my life, here and now, I was beginning to bloom, to thrive, to grow as never before. Thankfulness has begun to bear the fruit of joy in my life that I have found incredibly addictive and multiplying.

My closest friends have often laughed about my declarations to Joel such as "So, when are we going to sell all this and move to Africa already??!" Oh, wait. I'm serious :) Impatience is still impatience and pouty discontentment is still sin, whether or not what I want to do is for God and would be serving others. Because -surprise! It's not my job to pick what I do and where I do it - it's God's! When I gave Christ the keys to my heart I also gave Him my rights and plans and preferences.

I know that God has a plan for our family in the nations as well as here in America. And He also has a perfect timing for all things that He has called us to accomplish. And now I see that so much more clearly. For the first time, I am experiencing a deep contentment in God's plan for me, for us, now. Here. Today. This Moment. I don't want yesterday or tomorrow to rob me of the gift of the Present. Because this is all that I have and I am not promised tomorrow!

If you, like me, have struggled with discontentment so that you see your current job, place, situation, or location as something that "just isn't good enough" or "really needs to change," it is a great thing for the heart to remember that God's timing is perfect. You are where you are right now for a reason - for the people that surround you, for the work you are doing (even if it seems mundane), there is purpose in all of it. And if you ask for eyes to see, the true purpose-filled life comes when you embrace your place - to live where you are and in what you are doing with God and with the people He has put in front of you. And by all means, when God calls you on, move on! Until then, stand. plant. embrace your life with thanksgiving for it - and you will find joy welling up in your heart that will light up your path and put a spring in your step!

Redefining our Relationship with Numbers

2011-08-18T12:30:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning earlier than usual. The first thing I did was look over at the clock. 6:15 am. "Too early!," I thought. My battle with numbers had begun and I was barely awake.

I stepped on a scale. Another number. Sometimes (especially after having babies) I had stepped on that scale and I allowed the number I saw to make me feel depressed. Other times, I have been elated by a number. Today, I was merely satisfied.

I turned on the computer. Crunched numbers on my iMac's calculator to determine which store I would get a better deal on dried cranberries. More numbers.

I bought books from the library at a deeply discounted rate, I might add. More numbers.

I had to get my kids down for a nap (again, because the numbers on the clock said so) and they were still shoving food into their mouths. This time I stopped, breathed a bit, sat down. Watched them enjoying their food. Chesed knocking bits of peach and black beans and cheerios off her plate in glee. Grace devouring her (almost) daily quesadilla. I forgot about the numbers.

Silence at nap time is golden. I sat on the couch, opened my journal and began to write. About numbers. I kept thinking about how much we as human beings (but especially, I think, Americans) allow our entire dispositions and attitudes to be determined by numbers.

Ah-hem. Click on the news. The Dow is up or down....XXX points. Again. The temperature outside promises (based on the numbers you read) to be hotter than you would like. More numbers. Log into your email account. 400 unread messages. Your heart begins to race. More numbers.

Or...consider this: boarding your train for work, and the train stops unexpectedly. Immediately you find yourself looking at your watch every couple of minutes. To...WHAT?!!! COUNT YOUR AGONY?!! C'mon people! If we are honest with ourselves, we enjoy exasperation and frustration and anxiety much more than contentment and trust and patience because at least we feel that we want the world to know that we are are in control of our awareness of our inability to control our circumstances. Smile. You know its true.

Numbers really aren't bad. they are benign. Mute. Little scratches on a page or on a computer or lit up on a digital screen - they don't beacon you to sneer, yell, scamper about like a mad man, but for some reason, when we see them, we do. I do. I respond to the number rather than to look around, access the situation and adjust accordingly. Adjust my expectations. Adjust my attitude. Adjust my bank account. Adjust my heart.

Numbers can serve us. Show us where we need to change or adjust. They can help us in the way that guardrails do - so we don't fall over with exhaustion or end up in bankruptcy or die from heart disease (counting cholesterol). But....sometimes exhaustion, bankruptcy, and heart disease still come. Even when we are keeping track of all our numbers.

What God Numbers

What does God count or keep track of? What should we as His children focus on counting? This is only scratching the surface, but here's just a few truths I found today that I will share with you - perhaps just to stir your own thoughts:

While numbering occurs from the very beginning of the Bible (Days 1-7, for instance), The first time the word "number" is mentioned in the Bible is Genesis 13 when God makes a promise to Abraham that his descendants will be as the sand on the seashore "so that if a man could number the dust of the earth, then your descendants also could be numbered."(v 16)

I think it's interesting that the first time "number" is mentioned, it has to do with the promise of God and something that cannot actually be numbered.

Perhaps some of the greatest promises, greatest blessings that come from God in our lives, are the things that we can't pin down, can't track perfectly, and may not even understand.

Tenderly, God numbers the hairs on our heads, the number of our days, and it says that "You have kept count of my tossings (wanderings); put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book? (Psalm 56:8)

What Should We Number?

Our Days: Psalm 90:12 "Teach us to number our days, that we might gain a heart of wisdom."

This is one of my favorite Scriptures. I don't think this means that we are to say "I am 110,564 days old today. Wow. I am wise." I think "numbering our days" means to recognize that our days are numbered...fleeting...limited. How then will we choose to live? This verse ought to drive us to prayers like, "Abba, teach me, show me, how to live my one life for You, for Your Kingdom, with an eye on the Eternally Significant."

Our Blessings: Ephesians 5:20 says "..giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." While this doesn't say "count your blessings," it implies we are doing just that by thanking God at all times and for all things.

I am reading Ann Voskamp's book "A Thousand Gifts" right now and cannot recommend it highly enough! Her radical view on thankfulness and how it opens the door for joy in our lives has deeply impacted me and I am only halfway through the book! I have begun my own list (for those who haven't read it, Ann accepts a dare from a friend to count to one thousand blessings in her life, so she begins to write down a few every day until she reaches 1,000, but then, of course, she doesn't stop :)

Perhaps reading this book and beginning my own "thankful list" has made me more aware of things I am counting that are not in God's plan for me.

What I prayed today in response to this meditation:

Father, help me to have a healthy relationship with the numbers I see every day and help me to count the things you want me to count and keep track of. Rather than keep a record of wrongs, let me keep a record of all the blessings in my life. Rather than an ongoing mental list of my inconveniences, let me make lists of the many unexpected gifts and blessings in my day. And rather than being a slave to productivity and perfectionism, help me to hallow each moment of my journey and offer thanks to you for it, even if its not going the way that I planned. Help me to trust that You know my days and You are intimately involved in everything they include - for Your glory and my good.

Growing Pains

2011-08-16T12:35:00.000-07:00

Let me introduce you to Chesed Joy Thomas. Her name pretty much sums her up: Chesed means "covenant kindness, lovingkindness, tender mercy." Joy means Joy :) and she has set out for the first 10 months of her little life to prove to us that this is exactly who she is.....kind...loving...tender...joyful.

By the grace of God, we have had very few "fussy" days with this babe and at times I have honestly wondered about it - how could she be so happy, so content, so much of the time? But, that's just who she is!

However, the last few days for my bundle of joy have been difficult. My dear Chesed is teething. She already has 4 other teeth but those produced far less pain than the two she is getting right now. There are moments and even full hours where I wonder what I can possibly do to help alleviate her pain. The medical definition of teething is "the physiologic process of the eruption of the primary teeth through the gums." Hmmm..yep! An eruption. That pretty much sums it up!

As I have been soothing my normally calm baby through this time, my thoughts have drifted to the outcome of her pain. I think, at least this is going to accomplish something. She will have teeth which will lead to being able to eat sturdier types of solid foods herself which will then lead her to only further enjoyment as she is able to devour, let's say, chicken nuggets! with her sister instead of looking on in agony while Grace devours them (and sweet potatoes, and ice cream for that matter) as she scarfs down her yummy....pureed prunes (smile).

Her pain (and my headache) is momentary. A few days. Maybe a week. But then she's got to use those teeth for awhile to experience all sorts of flavors and tastes and savor the world in a whole new way! for this, I am thankful. Teething is actually a signpost of normal growth in an infants life - the pain and the discomfort actually means my little baby is growing up! Way to go, Chesed!

Unfortunately, I am not always so thankful for my own "growing pains." Hard white mountains piercing through delicate baby skin are her cross to bear in this season. Mine, on the other hand, looks very different. What grinds at me? What stretches me? What pokes at my most tender places, seeking to expose what is underneath? These are my own growing pains.

I ask God to give me the perspective to see the end result - not just relief from annoyances but, if I have been humbled by the process and learned from it - spiritual fruit and growth. By which I can better "taste" life and experience the abundance of life God has given me more fully, more thankfully, "with teeth," so to speak.

What's poking you or rubbing you the wrong way today? Perhaps it's something God actually intends to use to heal you, restore you, develop you. If you choose to embrace the pain today, you may very well enjoy the taste of victory and maturity come tomorrow.

2 Corinthians 4:17

Amplified Bible (AMP)

¹⁷For our light, momentary affliction (this slight distress of the passing hour) is ever more and more abundantly preparing and producing and achieving for us an everlasting weight of glory [beyond all measure, excessively surpassing all comparisons and all calculations, a vast and transcendent glory and blessedness never to cease!]

Our Orphans

2011-08-15T12:16:00.001-07:00

Yesterday at dinner time, I prepared some black bean nachos for dinner and we prepared to give thanks. Grace has her own song that she learned from her playschool last year and we sang it heartily "We are thankful....for our food, and our friends and family....God is good."

She has had a difficult time with whining and complaining lately and so Joel took the opportunity to point her to the pictures of orphans we sponsor on our refrigerator. He took down the pictures and asked Grace, "Do you know what an orphan is?" "No," she said. He told her that orphans are boys and girls who don't have a mommy or a daddy. She wanted to know why. "Sometimes they die or other difficult things happen...," Joel shared. You could tell that Grace really was thinking about this. She wanted to pray for the orphans and so we did. All three of us. Laying on hands on their beautiful faces, praying for them by name, asking God to work in their lives. We prayed for their health, education, and for them to know God's love in Christ. We thanked Him for allowing us to be an extension of His love through prayer and financial support.

As we ate our dinner, Grace commented, "I really like the beans, Mama." My heart and my mouth smiled. "Thanks, sweetie." Then she said something that I think both me and Joel won't ever forget. "I have everything that I want," she said. For a moment, my heart skipped a beat. Everything I want. Everything I want. Not everything I need. Everything I want. I know that she knows the difference. And my heart was filled with joy.

Joel responded appropriately for the nature of the moment. He swept her up into his arms and said, "it makes Daddy SO happy when Gracie is SO thankful!" She just smiled.

Thanking God today for these precious orphans that we have the honor of sponsoring...whose lives have already impacted my daughter, given her perspective on her blessings, and helped drawn thanks out of her heart towards God.

The Cup

2011-08-13T12:46:00.000-07:00

"And when they came to...Golgotha...they gave Him sour wine mingled with gall to drink. But when He had tasted it, He would not drink." - Matthew 27:34

Proverbs 31:6-7 says, "Give strong drink to him who is perishing, And wine to those who are bitter of heart. Let him drink and forget his poverty, And remember his misery no more."

In his book, "Paid in Full," Rick Renner goes into more detail about this ancient painkiller:

"According to Jewish law, if a man was about to be executed, he could request a narcotic, mingled together with wine, which would help alleviate the pain of his execution. The word “gall” in this verse refers to this special painkiller.

There was a group of kind women in Jerusalem who made it their good deed to help anesthetize the pain of people who were dying horrific deaths. These women wanted to eliminate as much pain and misery as possible for the scores of people being crucified by the Romans. Therefore, they produced the homemade painkiller that Matthew tells us about in this verse.

So why, when it was perfectly acceptable for Jesus to receive this painkiller, did He refuse it? I got to thinking about this today in depth. I thought about why Christ would want to refuse any sort of numbing in His crucifixion.

I will just let my journal today do the talking:

Nothing in You wanted numbing. You weren't sadistic or masochistic. You simply wanted all your human senses to be fully alert, aware, and functioning properly to receive the cup of suffering in its entirety - meaning, the fullness of the pain that it carried.

In a way, I kind of understand why you would choose this. When I went into labor and endured the experience of childbirth, I did so both times (by choice) without any medication to numb me from the pain. Some people might think I'm crazy for having two natural births by choice, but i wanted to fully experience childbirth - meaning, to fully engage every part of my mind, senses and body in the process. I didn't want to be numbed.

Now, I had been trained and coached in all sorts of ways to manage or "cope" with the pain and discomforts of the experience, and what I learned from the wise midwives who had delivered hundreds and even thousands of babies is that your pain will be lessened if you relax your body and embrace the process that is occurring. Oddly, by embracing the pain, your body releases the tension and stress associated with resistance.

I found that as I did,the pain became manageable and in the end of my marathon came the gift of unspeakable joy as, my baby girls, first Grace and then Chesed, breathed their first breaths on their own and cried their first cries.In some indescribable way, the pains of labor proved to carry with them an exhilarating and wonderful promise the moment I saw the reward.

Joy replaced pain.

Sight replaced faith.

Calm replaced anguish.

And each time it amazed me how quickly the importance of my pain was washed away and then thoroughly extinguished by the first feeling of their tender skin pressed against mine, their eyes looking deeply and trustingly into my eyes. And it was all totally, 110% worth it.

Moments, yes, even hours of suffering for a lifetime of fellowship with...my daughter. Perhaps this is what Jesus thought as well when He was on the Cross, being spit on and mocked and harassed. As His lungs collapsed and He was unable to breathe, I think He thought about the result of His moments and hours of suffering...an eternity of fellowship with me....with you...with all those who would look on His sacrifice and say, "It's enough."

It's enough to pay the debt I can't pay.

It's enough to make me a new creation.

It's enough to defeat death and hell and the grave forever. It's enough.

In all our trials, our tests, our sufferings, He invites us to fully drink the cup. To experience it fully. Not to numb ourselves to its reality in our lives, but even (in view of the result) to embrace it "in joy" (James 1:2) and to "look unto Jesus...who for the joy that was set before Him, endured the cross..." (Hebrews 12:2).

What cup is Christ offering you to drink today? Perhaps it is a cup of joy or celebration. Drink it fully. But perhaps it is a difficult cup, a bitter cup. A cup you don't understand. A cup, if you are honest, you want to reject completely. Maybe you think, "Perhaps I can taste it? Just take a sip? is that enough, Lord?" Or maybe I could add some honey to it like I do to Grace's fish oil supplement to make it "go down palatably"?

Or...you could do what Jesus did with His cup - you could drink it. You could embrace it not as pain for pain's sake or with a martyr mentality, but rather with an eye on the end result (which comes only from trust in God) and a sense of awareness in God's undeniable goodness and His perfect purpose that is linked that that very cup He is holding out to you.

Praying for God's new life to be birthed in you and me as we have courage and faith to drink with joy the cups that He has given us today.

Messes

2011-08-11T12:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning, i was tired. this is not unusual AT ALL in the life of a mom, but i was especially tired since we just returned from our big vacation, Joel left on a one day trip to Boston and back, and I decided to go jogging with the girls around 7:30am. So when we returned, I realized that I needed to bake some bread for my dear friend, Caroline, who loaned us her portable dvd player for our big trip.

I put Chesed down for her nap and Grace and I got to it, as we usually do with our chores. She is so helpful and always wants to be my "assistant." I love this normally, but this morning I was tired, honestly didn't feel like putting forth the effort of making bread (even though I knew I wanted and needed to) and was just a little cranky going into the whole process.

Grace pulled up her stool and ran to get the measuring cup to pour the grain into the grain grinder to make the flour for the bread. This is one of her favorite parts (second only to licking the honey cup that we pour into the bread machine). In her earnest desire, she miscalculated the distance between the cup and the bread machine and proceeded to spill 3/4 of the wheat berries all over the kitchen floor.

She looked at me. "GRACE!," I said very loudly and with an irritated voice. "you made a BIG mess!" "Now Momma has to clean it up!" I was very dramatic in my getting out of the broom and the dustpan. She began to cry. I felt horrible. I said, "Grace, I am so sorry. It's okay. We all make messes sometimes. Do you want to help me clean it up?" Of course, she did. Normally, she wants to "clean up" her messes but generally just spreads them all around the floor until the point that I say "okay, that's enough" and I actually clean it up.

But this morning was different. She carefully took the small broom and dust pan and methodically swept every last wheat berry into the pan. Then she carefully took it over to the trash and threw it away. On her own. I was astounded.

First, at her ability to do it (she never had before).

Second, at her thoroughness. (Come on, she's 2 1/2 years old!)

my daughter wanted to make her mess right. And she did. very well. I praised her efforts "Grace! look at what a wonderful job you did!" the moment of accomplishment and her effort towards making it right greatly outweighed any previous mess that was now completely gone.

In a moment, i went from being irritated to glowing with pride. A typical mother.

Late that night, both girls were starving. I brought them back from the pool. Joel wasn't back yet from his trip. I was hastily trying to use my new food processor to whip up some batter for sweet potato waffles, one of our favorite dinners when Daddy is away. It normally didn't go this way for me, I promise. Nothing mixed properly, batter was flying everywhere, and both girls were crying because it was past their dinner time. I began to sweat and apologized to Grace for her dinner being so late.

"It's okay, Momma. Everyone makes messes," She said. My heart stopped. There was a lesson here, if I had an ear to hear it.

Thank you, God, for showing me today that the grace that I give out will quickly turn into the grace I need others to show me. Didn't Jesus say something like that "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy"? Different, perhaps, but very similar.

We live messy lives with messy hands before God and our fellow man. Sometimes we need to take ownership like Grace did. To show God or the person we failed that we want to make it right. To go above and beyond our normal efforts. That's called restitution.

But sometimes, our messes are too big for us to clean up. Even Momma can't do it. That's why we need a Savior. Our sin is one pervasive mess that couldn't be fixed by animal sacrifices, grain offerings, or even ten thousand rivers of oil. It took a Savior. Laying himself down for me. For all my sin. All my messes. Instead of condemning me for my mess, He knew I would make it and then pushed aside my broom and my dustpan and my efforts for making it right. He said, "I've got to fix this one, child."

If you've made a mess today, like I have, in more ways then one, I've got good news for you. You aren't alone. Ask God if it's a mess you can make right or if it's a mess you can't (The Serenity Prayer?) And in all our messes, run to God for grace. He promises not to just clean us up and dust us off on the outside, but to renew us from the inside out.

Lord, thank you for your grace today in all of our messes!!

A Week to Unplug

2011-08-06T10:43:00.000-07:00

Our family is finishing up our annual week vacation in Cashiers, NC at the Cabin that my grandparents built over 50 years ago. This is my favorite place on the planet (and I have been a lot of places!) namely because of the history here for my family but also because of the fact that when I come here, life slows down and all that seems to matter is sitting on the front porch, drinking coffee, looking out at Sheeps Cliff Mountain and talking to God or to family.

Relationships are cultivated in greater depth as the distractions of our everyday life we have chosen to leave far behind, 10 hours away in Cheverly, MD. My daughter Grace is almost three years old now and she has already begun to reap the creative benefits of coming here. I think there is something about being in raw nature that exposes a child to creativity and imagination unencumbered by stuff, tv, and the normal routine of their lives. We have hiked several "tallest mountains" as Dora the Explorer puts it, gone swimming at waterfalls and natural sliding rocks that me, my parents, and my grandparents all have swum in, and just wandered around the mountain trails in search of a random turtle or butterfly. I LOVE IT.

This week every year, Joel and I celebrate our birthdays and anniversary and take time to seek the Lord about our lives - reflecting on the year past and looking at the year ahead, prayerfully considering our commitments, priorities, goals, and dreams before God and sharing with one another. This year, we listened to a book on CD called "Radical" by David Platt, which was very inspiring and brought back memories for us of all our times overseas. We looked at our budget and analyzed ways that we could possibly give more to those in need. We wrote a family mission statement and discussed our purpose as a families and the gifts that each individual in our family holds that contributes to our family. You may not think my 9 month old has "gifts" yet, but I assure you she does. The first one Joel wrote down was the gift of "cuteness" :) And the second, the gift of joy, which is actually her middle name. We also came up with a Family Creed, which consists of "words of live by" that Joel and I would like our family to emulate and remember. It is, in essence, "how we roll" :) We plan to print it up on nice paper of some sort and frame it somewhere in our house so that we can refer to it in "teachable moments" for ALL of us, not just our kids!

I am so grateful for a chance to unplug and have meaningful and purposeful time with my family. We have made many memories (Grace spotted a bear outside our front door while we were eating pizza one night!) and laughed and played hide and seek all around the Cabin.

Have you and your family had a chance to "unplug" from the daily grind this summer? You may not have a week to take off, but even a day can do wonders for refreshing your relationships and your soul. I would love to hear about what you have found helps you "unplug" the most!

What Life is Not

2011-07-27T18:18:00.000-07:00

In our basement on one of the walls is this quote:

"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!"
— Hunter S. Thompson

Our friend and first tenant, Chad, placed this quote on his wall as a reminder of what he wanted his life to be like.

I thought of this today as I got up early (once again), fixed breakfast and lunch and dinner and snacks (once again), dressed up Grace in about 7 different princess outfits a total of about 50 times (once again), got the swim diapers, the swimsuits, the towels, the sunscreen, the water bottles, the snacks...and went to the pool (you got it...once again). I thought it when I was so tired I ended up feeding Kes my last container of packaged organic baby food instead of heating up some of the homemade stuff because she and Grace were both crying so loudly and I knew someone was coming over within 5 minutes.

I also thought about it when i had the opportunity to deliver 3 baby baskets to families with new babies in our amazing neighborhood, Cheverly. No place like it. And when Grace wanted me to read her the story of Daniel and the Lions Den once again. And when Chesed laughed like crazy when Grace and her had a tickle fight and I heard Grace say, "we are having fun, Mama." And when I jogged in the cool, early morning seventy-something temps on my familiar trek before I was fully awake.

I don't want my life to be sterile and well-preserved, like one of my jars of homemade strawberry jam. I'd rather be snapped open and glopped on homemade toast and even fall on the floor a few times. Now, being "well preserved" isn't really possible once you have kids anyways. But I guess for the record I just want to say I'm glad I got on this roller coaster and I never want to get off.

30 Going on 13?

2011-07-25T12:43:00.001-07:00

Some of you have seen the movie, “13 Going on 30” with Jennifer Garner. The film portrays the innocence of a 13 year old girl being harshly exposed to the indecency, immorality, and selfishness of her future, 30-year old self. While the film is set to be a funny, entertaining rom-com, it is also sad to watch as the 13 year old realizes that she had more maturity, integrity, and real friendships in her adolescence than in her adulthood. In fact, she hates who she has become and ends up magically having the chance to go back and have a second chance to focus on what is most important to her. She realizes the hard way that fulfillment isn’t found in a high-paying job, tight fitting dress, or rockin’ night life. What she craves to gain back is her innocence, integrity, and her best friend, who ends up being her husband.

It makes me ask the question, “What are we as 30 (or 40 or even 50) year old women modeling to the teenage or 20-something young ladies around us is most important in life as a woman? I ask this because I have noticed an alarming and ever-increasing trend among older women today (not just in the world at large, but in the Church as well) to despise our age, the aging process in general and to place undue focus, energy, money and time into “reversing the clock” and wiping away the proofs of our natural, God-given age.

A Biblical View on Beauty

While the world’s definition of beauty has more to do with a flawless image and a perfect figure, God’s definition of beauty is entirely different. He teaches this to the prophet Samuel as He sends him to anoint the new king of Israel. The people cared more about their king “looking like a king” than anything - and even Samuel, an incredibly godly man, expected for God to show him one of Jesse’s older, stronger, handsome sons as His obvious choice for the new king. Everyone was shocked when God chose David, the youngest of the boys, to be anointed as king. God’s teachable moment with Samuel that day can transfer to us today. He said, "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7 ESV).

While this instruction is for everyone, the Lord knows how much we as women would struggle to prioritize the condition of our hearts over our appearance. That is why He so graciously instructs us through the Apostle Peter in 1 Peter 3:3-4 NKJV : “Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. The Apostle Paul gives his disciple Timothy instruction for the women in the church as well by saying, “And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do” (1 Timothy 2:9-10, NLT).
It is not that Paul is saying to be godly, we should wear sackcloth, no makeup, and avoid pedicures at all costs. He is simply saying that our priority and focus should not be unduly placed upon our outward beauty. In addition, he is giving us an admonition to pursue beauty - but not through the way that we look. Rather, to become beautiful through growing in the character of Christ and by our actions that produce good works.

A Biblical View on Aging

Just last night as I was watching the evening news, I saw a commercial with an ad for some sort of a roll-on, “magical” formula of goop that you could apply to your face to “take off ten years - instantly!” I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting to look good. But do all these commercials only prove that we women as a whole are discontent with the way that we age - and are willing to shell out the big bucks to delay or turn back what is bound to happen - decay?

When you get up in the morning and take a look in the mirror and realize that yes, you are getting older, what should your mediation be? The Bible speaks to this as well. In Isaiah 40:6-8, the prophet Isaiah is instructed to “cry out.” “What shall I cry?” he says. “All flesh is grass, And all its loveliness is like the flower of the field. The grass withers, the flower fades, Because the breath of the LORD blows upon it; Surely the people are grass. The grass withers, the flower fades, But the word of our God stands forever.”

Paul speaks to the Corinthian church as they encountered various tests and trials with this encouragement: “So we do not lose heart.Though our outer self is wasting away,our inner self is being renewed day by day....For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18, ESV).
When we see evidence of our age in the mirror, instead of running out the CVS and buying some “anti-aging serum,” perhaps we should take a moment to soberly reflect on our temporal nature and on what is more important for eternity: the spiritual condition of our hearts. We can also rejoice that if we are followers of Christ, even while our wrinkles may increase, our spirits are becoming stronger and more vibrant day by day.

Grandma’s Mini-skirt

Sometimes I think we older ladies need to be reminded that while we technically may be able to wear a teenagers clothing, it doesn’t mean we should. I’m not saying we shouldn’t be trim, fit, and even well-dressed and fashionable. But for goodness sake, why can’t we dress like fashionable 30, 40, 50-year olds in age-appropriate clothing rather than squeezing into skinny jeans that make us look like high-school wannabees? Just sayin’....

I know Grandmothers and even Great-Grandmothers who whine about their wrinkles, want to get plastic surgery, and go on fad diets regularly. My question to these women is: Do you really think you are going to look like a 20 year old by doing this? And do you really think your children and grandchildren want to see their grandma in a mini-skirt with botox? I think not.
A Season for Everything

My 2 ½ year old daughter Grace loves to watch me put on my makeup and begs me to let her wear it. Sometimes I pretend to put mascara or lip stick on her and she gets overjoyed when I tell her how great she looks. She simply wants to be like her Mama. And there is nothing wrong with that. But sometimes she gets very upset when I don’t let her actually apply my makeup. I tell her, “Grace, when you are older, you will be able to wear this, but you aren’t ready yet. Just enjoy being a little girl! ” She still wants to wear it, but she understands my reason. “When I am older, Mama,” she says.

Little girls want to be “all grown up” as soon as possible. Older women want to regain their “baby skin” once more. And yet there is a season for each in life and each should be enjoyed. Scripture tells us “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1). There is a time to be young and there is a time to be old. I can twirl with Grace and be a “kid at heart,” but I am fooling myself if I think I can defy age by wearing a trendy outfit from “Forever 21.”

The Greater Question

The more important question we should be asking ourselves when we complain about our hips (hips that perhaps changed a bit through the miraculous, life-giving process of childbirth) or pick at a salad with diet soda in front of our kids while we watch them eat their normal, healthy food is: what are we modeling for our children? What are our actions and behaviors demonstrating to them? Now, most of us wouldn’t classify ourselves as the botox, obnoxiously short-shorts type. But what do our words or actions about ourselves and our outward appearance around our children teach them? That as women, we value youth and beauty over maturity, wisdom, and modesty? That becoming older is to be despised, rejected, and fought against even to the detriment of health? That what is on the surface is more important than what is in our hearts?

What is at Stake: Our Daughter’s Hearts

Our kids are smart. They can tell what we think is most important by listening to us, watching us, living with us. I know what I want my daughters to see: I want them to see their mom content to be the age that I am, with the body type I have been given, in the season of life I am, doing what I am doing. I want them to see me have a healthy relationship with exercise and food and the mirror....and I want them to know, without a doubt, that I value my own personal character development and spiritual growth above the way that I look.

What I am talking about isn’t always easy, especially when there are pictures all around us in various forms of media of perfectly tanned, sculpted, glowing, skinny women. Granted, they aren’t real (but photo shopped!) but they are still tempting to idolize. What is usually harder is falling into our own “comparison trap” with the women around us. “I wish I had longer legs like ____” or prettier hair like _____” - these types of comparisons can only drive us to negativity and sinful discontent. Job set a great standard for men in the area of lust when he said, “I have made a covenant with my eyes; why then should I look upon a young woman?” (Job 31:1, NKJV). Perhaps we as women should make a different kind of “covenant with our eyes” - not to gaze with covetous longing upon another woman’s figure, looks, or features. This may require similiar measures from us as it does for men: turning away from ads, turning off the T.V., or walking away in our hearts from temptation as it is set before us.

The world’s definition of beauty is ever-changing, empty, and becoming more and more unattainable. The Bible’s definition is timeless, meaningful, and by the grace of God alone, attainable. Let’s make a choice today to love who God has created us to be in the season of life that we are in. Let’s not try to “go back” or “reverse the clock.” Let’s be child-like in our faith but mature in our actions and modest in our dress. Let’s display an inward beauty to the next generation that will not only turn heads but turn hearts towards the Lord and His love. Because what our children really need are mothers who are role models, not supermodels.

Creatures of Habit

2011-06-23T12:43:00.001-07:00

My ear hurts. Well, actually, both my ears hurt. You see, I'm a light sleeper (meaning, I wake up easily if I hear noises at night time) and I live with a husband, an infant, and a toddler in addition to the other random noises that occur at night. So...for years, I have regularly worn ear plugs to sleep at night.

Now, ear plugs aren't a bad thing when you use them occasionally, but I had gotten into a habit of putting them in every night to block out the random "sleep cycle" cries of my baby or the random cries of my toddler when she tossed and turned for no apparent reason.

Most of the time, this habit didn't seem to have any impact at all on my life except for the positive effect of blocking out night noises. However, shortly after I had Chesed (my second daughter) i noticed my ear became so sore from my ear plug action that I had to soak with compresses and even apply cream to it to heal a little infection it caused.

After this passed though, naturally I forgot my brief period of pain and resumed use of my beloved foam ear plugs. I was appalled this week to discover that dull pain returning to (watch it) BOTH my ears this time around! So, without further ado, I trashed my supply of foam earplugs and have been pampering my poor, sore ears to heal them, all the while telling myself that this time, I will be good and remember the pain. This time, I will figure out a better, more long-term solution to dealing with being a light sleeper. This time, it will be different.

This is just one example of a bad habit. As I sat down today during my time alone with God, I considered that everything happens for a purpose and perhaps the dull, pulsing pain in my ears could teach me a valuable lesson about habits. So, I began my search. Here is what I discovered.

In Webster's Dictionary, "Habit" is defined as:

1) a recurrent, often unconscious pattern of behavior acquired through frequent repetition.
b. an established disposition of the mind or character
2) Customary manner or practice
3) an addiction, especially to a narcotic drug.

So, while all of these definitions are worthy of contemplation, we will stick to the first - which has two different definitions. A recurrent, often unconscious pattern of behavior acquired through frequent repetition; an established disposition of the mind or character.

Today I contemplated - what are my habits, those things i do daily without even thinking? Well, as you can imagine, it is hard to think about things that you do without thinking :) But I tried to think about things I do every day or almost every day. A couple I nailed down are: drinking coffee, writing in my personal journal, jogging (several times weekly).

I thought about how each habit got established. I started drinking coffee in high school during a Saturday morning bible study with my youth group. I think it was just the novelty of drinking coffee like my parents did at the time, but now it is definitely my morning ritual.

Jogging - my Dad has been jogging for decades and got me into this when I was in high school. He said he would pay me $100 if I beat him to Little River Park and back (a distance of about 3 miles). I did once and I think the $100 really made me put forth full effort :)

Journaling - I have boxes and boxes of journals and go through about one full journal every 3 months. I recognize this is a ridiculous amount of paper but I am a writer, so be it.

How about you? What are your personal habits (good and bad)? Could you think through one day and try to list things that you do every day (even if it is something simple like "I always get a triple-shot, grande, non-fat, no-whip, vanilla latte" :) Another habit we may not think much of is our connection to media and our new techno-gadgets such as blackberries or iphones. Would you say your use of these devices is helpful and useful or do you end up being so connected to them that it interferes with your face to face relationships or that you find it hard to ever unplug or turn them off? Are there some things you do unconsciously that may even be harmful to you or those around you? Most certainly, you also do certain things regularly that are very beneficial to you and others and you can see the fruit of regular repetition in your life.

Whether we like it or not, we are all creatures of habit, whether for good or for bad. Take a moment to see where you are hurting most (for me, it is definitely my ears! :) - but seriously, where are you hurting most? spiritually? emotionally? physically? If the source of that pain stems from a bad habit, simple steps and choices now may eliminate the need for drastic measures in years to come.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic!

What I Learned About Time from Expired Coupons and Spoiled Avacado

2011-03-27T10:43:00.000-07:00

What an odd title for a blog! And yet, as I contemplated what to call this, I couldn't shake these extremely commonplace and yet poignant examples from my own life: Expired Coupons and Spoiled Avacado. Huh?

Let me get straight to the point. There are two kinds of time in our lives - the first is the time we follow on clocks that ticks away second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour. It cannot be stopped and sometimes we wish it could be. It cannot be sped up and sometimes we wish it could be. It is what it is. A minute will always be 60 seconds, an hour always 60 minutes. A day always 24 hours. Some days SEEM longer than others and some shorter than others. But, in actuality, they are all the exact same length of time.

And then, there are appointed times. The Bible refers to these as "kairos" times. Ecclesiastes 3 shares a detailed, yet in-exhaustive list of some of these times in our lives, common to every person: A time to be born, a time to die, a time for war, a time of peace, a time to plant, a time to gather (harvest) that which we have planted. For those of us in school, a time to graduate. For those of us getting married, an set time to be married.

Not all kairos times are as obvious as the ones listed in Ecclesiastes 3. Some "opportune" or "seasonable" times of appointment in our lives are easily lost. This is where my examples come in.

I am a coupon clipper. Well, not so much now as in previous months, but i still do try to find coupons and clip them when I am 90% sure they will be used. However, there are still coupons I clip with good intention to use them, but for whatever reason I am unable to get to the store by their expiration date and they become worthless. I may get there the day after they expire, and yet they cannot be used. The appointed time has ended. The sale is over. The offer null and void. A thought comes to my mind at that moment: wasted. A wasted opportunity. Some of these opportunities are more costly than others. When I have to throw a coupon away I would have used, I do so with regret as I think "Wow, this is just like throwing money in the trash can." But it's not as hard as other wasted moments - such as times when I felt prompted by God to encourage another and failed to follow through with my good intention. Or perhaps I had a chance to see an old friend and catch up and missed the chance.

My other example - Spoiled Avacado. Now, we have all seen fruit spoil. It ain't a pretty (or fragrant) thing. Bananas spoiling to me means banana bread :) Other fruits - well, you just throw it away and count your loss. But the worst fruit to spoil, in my humble opinion, is the Avacado. I know some of you who live in California or Florida or other wonderful places where the Avacado isn't very expensive will not agree (and I understand this) but where I live, one Avacado can often cost $2.50. And I love avacado so much that it is one of the only produce items I will buy regardless of the price. It is just that good. Anyways, when I have paid $2.50 for an avacado only to open it up and find that part of it (or the whole thing) has spoiled, I am quite upset. It is probably due to how much I love the fruit but also the price paid for it. What is the point? There is a time for every fruit to ripen, to be eaten, and to spoil if it isn't eaten. And it is the same for every "kairos" moment, every "opportune, appointed time."

One of my favorite verses in Scripture is also one that haunts me daily. And when I say "haunts" I don't mean the definition that means to scare, but the one that means, "to recur persistently to the consciousness of; remain with.." It is:

Ephesians 5:15-17 (Amplified Bible)
Look carefully then how you walk! Live purposefully and worthily and accurately, not as the unwise and witless, but as wise (sensible, intelligent people),
Making the very most of the time [buying up each opportunity], because the days are evil.Therefore do not be vague and thoughtless and foolish, but understanding and firmly grasping what the will of the Lord is.

What appointed times or opportunities are before you today? To turn off the TV or unplug from the internet and engage your spouse in meaningful conversation or your children in play? To write a letter to a friend who is dealing with sickness? To call your mom? There are other kinds of opportune times - ones that will never come again. Perhaps you bump into a friend at the metro station that you haven't seen in ages. You are in a rush - but could you slow down long enough to value a person over your schedule and find out how they are doing? I don't know about how life is like where you live, but where i live (in the DC area) life is fast-paced, people always seem to be busy, and unfortunately the urgent often crowds out the important.

So take a moment to think about what is important to you and make a commitment to prioritize people above mere productivity. When you lay your head on your pillow tonight, what will be your favorite moment of today? Perhaps a moment spent taking in the beauty of the sunset. Perhaps a conversation that lifted your spirits. Whatever it is, it's a lot more important than an expired coupon or a spoiled avacado - so make a choice now not to miss it!

Joyful in Prosperity

2011-02-24T12:02:00.000-08:00

"In the day of prosperity be joyful, but in the day of adversity consider that God has made the one side by side with the other, so that man may not find out anything that shall be after him." - Ecclesiastes 7:14

When I was 19 years old, God called me in a clear way to work in ministry for Him. Nothing quite else mattered. Why? I was in love with Jesus! I often prayed prayers reflecting the following attitude: "Lord, I am willing to go wherever you send me, to do whatever you ask, to endure hardship, pain, whatever it takes to share the message of your love with others." I was told by Bonhoeffer to "count the cost" of Discipleship and I did. I knew it could cost me not just my worldly comforts to follow Jesus, but perhaps my very life. Perhaps you would say as a zealous youth for Jesus I had a "martyr mentality." As I prepared to board a plane to Ghana, Africa at 20 years old, I told my mom that I was ready for whatever the jungles held. Turns out that I did get malaria twice that summer, but the ways that I came to grow in my spiritual life far outweighed any physical trauma I endured. I fell in love with Africa, with the Ghanaian people, with their simple, happy lives, and...with Joel Thomas :)

I came home and got married and continued to serve the Lord in whatever ways He showed me through the years that followed. I served in a ministry where I had to raise my own support, which I gladly did. Sometimes this meant living off of rice and beans, but we were happy in our little bungalow and had each other. Life was good regardless, for we knew we were where God called us.

We traveled around the world and saw the highs and lows of humanity. Sudan. India. Uganda. Israel. China. and 14 other countries as well. My heart broke for those in need, for those suffering under oppressive governments and those who could not feed their own children. Sometimes the weight of the world's sorrows was too much for me to understand or even attempt to bear. I also met more amazing people - people happy with virtually nothing. People after the Tsunami just happy to be ALIVE much less have a home to live in.

I returned to the US with a full heart and a bit leaner frame. I was changed.
We moved to Washington, DC for Joel to pursue a Masters in Public Administration so that we could eventually go back out and make a bigger impact in coordinating efforts for those nations we had visited - for disaster relief, humanitarian aid, and of course to minister God's love to those in need.

We both got good jobs in time and instead of living day to day we began to pray for wisdom in stewarding what God was giving to us to manage. Constantly in my mind was the scripture: "to whom much is given, much will be required." - Luke 12:48. There is nothing I did to deserve being born as an American into this amazing country where opportunities abound. But I was, and I wanted to be faithful with what God had given me.

But there was something else God wanted to teach me, for me to realize about His abundant life for me. That God not only wanted me to endure suffering for Him, He also wanted to prosper my life. Now, before you think, "oh no! Laura believes in the 'prosperity gospel' -let me share from Scripture where I am coming from. I once asked a pastor to pray for me that I "would know Christ and the fellowship of His sufferings." He smiled and said, "well, then, I will also pray that you would know Him in the power of His resurrection." (this completes the verse I was quoting - Philippians 3:20).

The Christian life is one that is to be lived with an open hand. Paul teaches us that he learned to be content in whatever situation he found himself -whether well fed or hungry, whether abounding or suffering need. I think I did a pretty good job of being content in suffering, but if I am honest I felt a little guilty for "abounding." But God calls for times of abundance and times of lack, and each ought to be received for the gift that it is. I had read before the passage in Ecclesiastes that I have listed at the top of this blog entry and mainly applied it to my life for the purpose of the second part: to consider adversity for the lessons it could teach me of how I am not in control of my life - God is. But I never stopped to meditate on the first part: in the day of prosperity be joyful.

Why am I bringing this up today? Because right now, my family is prospering in a tremendous way. Our health is wonderful. Joel continues to have favor in his workplace and have meaningful work to do. Our children are healthy and strong and beautiful and I am afforded the awesome opportunity to be at home with them each day. We live in a beautiful house in an amazing neighborhood with an incredible church family and wonderful opportunities to serve and minister to others. Our cup overflows.

Before I might have said, "this is fine and great, but tomorrow everything could change and I need to be prepared for that and not hold too tightly to any of these blessings." While in a sense this is true, I am not IN tomorrow yet; I am in today. And today, prosperity surrounds me. And I ought to humbly thank God for it and enjoy it. This honors Him.

When I give my daughters a gift - even something small, like a cookie, I want them to be delighted. I want them to enjoy it to the full. I don't want them to give it back and say, "you know, Mommy, I really don't need that or deserve it." Well, it might be true (they don't NEED or DESERVE it) but I just wanted to give it to them to enjoy.

Enjoy your life! Enjoy the moments that bring tears to your eyes because life is just so good. Enjoy the times when your family is healthy and thank God for it. Enjoy the seasons of fruitful harvest. Enjoy the blessing of community and friendships. There have also been appointed times where we may suffer loss of a loved one, a moral failure, loss of a job, health complications, loss of friends... and these times may overwhelm us and for seasons outweigh the good times. There is much to learn in each time and it would be foolish for us to miss the handiwork of God in every season. But even in suffering, God still gives us glimmers of light and hope to fill us with joy: the smile on a baby's face, a warm fire on a cold night, a hug from someone we love. Rejoice in every blessing He gives you and take delight in all that He is doing in your life. Live in the moment and embrace the season. And for me, right now, that means to be full of praise for the abundance of blessings that He has given to me. My cup truly overflows.

Faith Defies Gravity

2010-12-17T14:38:00.000-08:00

Today I was playing make believe with Gracie in her little house on our back porch and she handed me her doll. "Rock a bye, Baby, Momma!" Gracie pleaded. She wanted me to sing the well known lullaby to her baby doll. How cute! I gave in to her request and began to sing. As I sang, I realized how the words of the song disturbed me. So I decided to change them.

"Rock a bye, baby, on the treetop, when the wind blows, the cradle will rock,
when the bow breaks, the cradle won't fall, cuz' Jesus holds baby, cradle, and all!"

I realized in an instant how my faith informs all that I do. I mean, it's a lullaby - what's the big deal? But for some reason, the spirit inside of me was disturbed by those words, which could breed fear in a very teachable, mold-able child - who happens to be grappling with the concept of fear right now for the first time anyways. And what do I want to instill in her? Faith. Radical Faith.

There have been times, many times, in my lifetime of 31 years and some odd months, that my "cradle has fallen" for sure. The circumstances of my life have at times left me feeling that I am on a free-fall and have no clue if I am going to FLY or to SPLAT on the ground below.

But when the bow, or whatever we have been leaning on and depending on to hold us up, breaks - we freak out. How will we survive? Who or what will hold us up? there is one answer if we will accept it: Jesus. Otherwise, we will end up falling from bow to bow, branch to branch, and clinging onto flimsy substitutes for help.

When we fall, and we all do daily - do we trust in ourselves or our earthly crutches to hold us up or do we trust in the Lord? We, along with the babies of this world and our children alike, have an eternal and everlasting refuge in the arms of Christ.

Deuteronomy 33:27 says, "The eternal God is your refuge,and his everlasting arms are under you.He drives out the enemy before you;he cries out, ‘Destroy them!’"

Living in Expectation

2010-10-10T16:21:00.000-07:00

I am officially expecting. Yes, I am pregnant and "expecting" is a term that is used to describe any pregnant woman. We live in a period of nine months enduring a variety of hardships, pains, emotions, and other interesting issues with one end in sight: a baby.

As I have been through (technically) 9 months of expecting this baby now and I am 38 weeks along today, I am now "expecting" this baby on a whole new level. When I first found out I was pregnant, there was excitement, joy, a little disbelief (momentary), and then acceptance as the planning and preparations began.

But now, I have my bags packed. I am baking bread to store away in our freezer to prepare for the weeks when I won't feel like baking. I have washed the newborn clothes and put them in the drawers. I have the infant car seat in the car. I am not just expecting a baby in a far away sense - I have positioned myself to receive this child. Any day could be the day, any moment could be the moment. And I am thrilled!

I took a walk today and realized how much fun it is to live with such expectancy. I am living with the confidence that something extremely exciting and life changing is going to occur in my life at any given moment in the next two weeks. I'll admit it - life isn't always this way! But, I am writing because, as a follower of Christ, I believe it should be.

Every breath we breathe is a gift from God. Every moment is a treasure, not to be squandered. Time ticks away, one day begins and then ends.

Psalm 90:12 (New Living Translation) says, "Teach us to realize the brevity of life,
so that we may grow in wisdom." Another version reads, "Teach us to number our days." Right now, I am numbering my days. Each day I wake up, i think..this could be my last day of being a mother of one....of spending time one on one with Grace alone. This causes me to treasure my time with her and soak in every moment. Tasks or times with friends that I have been wanting to see suddenly becomes more urgent, knowing the imminence of my baby's birth. Why? I know I don't have much time left until this baby arrives. In fact, it could be today.

But shouldn't I live this way every day? I am not promised tomorrow. Scripture says that at his very best, man is but a vapor. Pretty humbling. Not only do I not know how long I will live, I also do not know when Christ will return.

Luke 12:40 says, "Therefore you also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect." The Greek word for "ready" in this passage means "opportune, prepared, ready to receive someone." Just as I am ready to receive my daughter any time now in the next couple of weeks, I ought to be ready to receive Christ every day. How can I do this? How can we, as believers, be ready and live expectantly for Christ's return?

There are so many ways, but I believe a few of the most obvious are to live every day as though it is our only day on earth: to love God and people with all our our heart, soul, mind and strength; to go about our work with joy and gladness, to enjoy the beauty's and bounty's of God's blessings, and to walk in fellowship with God. To use the influence and abilities God has given us to extend His kingdom, to shine His light into the dark places of this world.

During these last few months, God has spoken a secret to my heart. It is this: "For those who live in expectation, each moment is a treasure, each opportunity is a gift."

Praying that you as well as I will live in eager expectation of our Lord's coming as well as all the amazing things He wants to do in us and through us every day!

Daddy's Delight

2010-08-12T10:09:00.000-07:00

Recently Grace has begun "picking out" her own clothes. Sometimes this is a rather humorous event and the clothes she chooses just aren't practical for the weather outside or where we will be going. However, on Sunday she picked out a brand new summer dress my mom had given to her that has ladybugs on it. "What a great choice!" I said to her.

When Joel got up that morning, she ran up to him, proud to show off her new ladybug dress. It was one of the first times that I could see the look on her face....if you are a girl you know what I am talking about....it's that look of "I think i look REALLY good in this outfit and I want Daddy to tell me so!"

Well, Joel did things just right and oohed and ahhed over her little dress. He told her she looked beautiful and that he loved the dress.

The next day, Joel went off to work as usual and we gave him our usual goodbyes at the door before he walked to the metro. Later on, when I asked Grace what she wanted to wear that day, she immediately ran and got the ladybug dress, even though it was dirty from the day before. I told her that she couldn't wear it because it was dirty, we were going to the park and she needed shorts on to play, and that was the end of that.

But later that day, around 5pm, when I told Grace that Daddy was coming home soon, she immediately ran and got the ladybug dress out of the dirty clothes hamper. She insisted that I put it on her and once it was on she lit up like a Christmas tree.

She played as usual but kept going up to the door and looking out the window for Daddy's arrival. When Joel came home, she proudly stood in her ladybug dress to greet him and to see what he would say. Like I said, the dress was dirty now, she was still sweaty from playing outside, and she actually had her other outfit underneath, but Joel still told her she was beautiful and oohed and ahhed over the dress just as he did the first time.

As we were talking about this later that night, Joel pointed out that it wasn't really the dress but the way he had responded to her when she wore it that caused her to want to wear it over and over again. As tears filled my eyes, I saw one more glimpse of the role of a father in his daughter's life.

Every girl wants and needs a daddy that will look at them for who they are, affirm them, and tell them they are the most gorgeous girl on the planet. Grace is very blessed to have such a daddy.

For those girls who don't have as affirming of a father figure, it is comforting to know that they haven't been forgotten. Our Heavenly Father looks at us and loves us as we are. In fact, Psalm 45:10 (The Message) says,

"Now listen, daughter, don't miss a word:forget your country, put your home behind you. Be here—the king is wild for you. Since he's your lord, adore him. "

Do you know that the King of the Universe, the One who Created the Heavens and has calmed the seas, is WILD about YOU?! Talk about a confidence booster.

It's not really about how you look on the outside. It's about your heart. And even if the heart you have is broken, He loves that too. His Word promises that He is near to the brokenhearted.

And just like Grace, when you see the "clothes" God delights that you wear - clothes of humility, love, grace, and mercy - you will want to put them on every day - not to earn extra favor - you know you already have it! But just to delight Daddy's heart.

Shameless Promotion

2010-05-28T10:37:00.000-07:00

"As for you, Titus, promote the kind of living that reflects wholesome teaching." - Titus 2:1

"For we are fellow workmen (joint promoters, laborers together) with and for God" - 1 Corinthians 3:9

I got an email this week that was titled "Shameless Promotion." It was from my former childbirth teacher who wanted to share the business of her friend with all of her other friends. Thus, she was "Shamelessly Promoting" her.

For whatever reason, the title of this email got me thinking. It struck me that we as Americans are overall turned off by the outlandish amount of promotions that come to us each and every day. Products, Businesses, Services, just about anything is promoted these days and if the marketing is good enough, we are convinced we NEED whatever they are selling.

What does this have to do with the Christian Faith?

As Christians, we can often become wary of promoting our faith, our church, our beliefs. We may reason that we don't want to push any of this on other people. "If they want to hear, they will ask me," we may think. And a sensitivity to the Holy Spirit IS the key in this, for sure. In my early zealot days of the faith, I would blare out the Gospel to a lamppost, for goodness sake! :)

We must stay sensitive to discern where people are in their spiritual journey while remaining unapologetic and unashamed of who we are in Christ and the path that we ourselves have chosen. I have learned that people are drawn to confident people. Paul says,

"I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes" (Romans 1:16).

He also says to Timothy, "For this reason I also suffer these things; nevertheless I am not ashamed, for I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that Day." (2 Timothy 1:12).

Products, People, and Institutions of all kinds can let us down because they are flawed and fading. Yet the Gospel is pure, Christ is Love, and promoting Him and His message in its pure form and raw beauty, with sensitivity and love for others leaves nothing but a sweet-smelling fragrance to those who partake of it.

Be Confident in Whom you have chosen today. Be thoughtful, sensitive, and use wisdom as you share your faith with others, of course. But don't be ashamed to open your mouth and proclaim what God has done for you!

The Gentle Shepherd

2010-04-01T10:41:00.001-07:00

The month of March was a difficult month for our family. It started with Grace getting a cold, then Joel getting a sinus infection, then Grace getting pink eye and an ear infection, then me getting bronchitis (whew!). For a family who hardly ever gets sick, this was a month of survival, to say the least. Add on top of this that I found out I was pregnant (YAY!) but with that came the wonderful side effects of fatigue and morning sickness (Yuck!).

During this time, I found my quiet times filled with pleas for healing of either myself or my family members and cries for mercy. We hate to merely "get by" each day dragging our feet due to sickness and fatigue. Yet all people have "those days."

During one of those days as I sought God, I cried out to Him to speak to me, to give me a much needed word of encouragement. He brought me to the passage in Isaiah 40, verse 11 which says,

"He will feed his flock like a shepherd.
He will carry the lambs in his arms,
holding them close to his heart.
He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young."

I can't tell you how much this verse brought me encouragement! Sometimes as a Mom, you can take care of others so much that it's hard to take care of yourself. But I have a Gentle Shepherd. He deals gently with me in seasons when I am weak, tired, worn out, sick, and the like. He feeds me with much needed food from Heaven and even carries me when I can't seem to pick up my feet. If I let Him.

All I must do is take the time to connect with Him. To meet with Him and let Him refuel me with His Presence. In my times of physical exhaustion I am reminded of another promise in the same chapter of Isaiah,

"but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint." (v. 31)

A key to my renewal of body, mind and spirit lies here. The posture of my heart must be to hope, to wait, to expect God to come and meet my needs from one day to the next. Another translation says, "Those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength."

I love the way that A.W. Tozer talks about these restorative times alone with God:

The fellowship of God is delightful beyond all telling. He communes with His redeemed ones in an easy, uninhibited fellowship that is restful and healing to the soul. He remembers our frame and knows that we are dust. He may sometimes chasten us, it is true, but even this He does with a smile, the proud, tender smile of a Father who is bursting with pleasure over an imperfect but promising son who is coming every day to look more and more like the One whose child he is.” - A W Tozer, the Root of the Righteous

Have you been weary lately? Tired from all of life's demands, worries, trials, or temptations? Try resting awhile in the arms of your Heavenly Father who is "bursting with pleasure" just to be with you, His child. :)

A Never Gives Up Kind of Love

2010-03-17T11:18:00.001-07:00

When I first met Joanna, she seemed pretty much like every other child I had met that day in the Medishare base at the Port au Prince airport. Lying on a hospital cot brought in from the U.S., she was alert yet carried a weary look upon her lovely brown face.

After exchanging introductions, I asked her through my interpreter if she would like to share with me what happened to her during the earthquake. While she seemed too tired to say much, her father eagerly began to share their inspiring story.
Sixteen year old Joanna had been at her school at the time the catastrophic 7.0 earthquake hit her country on January 12. Her school immediately collapsed, killing all but three of the 1,500 students who attended. Joanna was one of the three survivors.

While Joanna’s only other sibling died, her father continued to search for Joanna until he found her. As my friends and I had been appointed as temporary chaplains over the Medishare hospital and base, I asked Joanna if my friend and I could pray for her and her father, which they were eager to receive. They were believers in Christ and their faith had keep them strong through what had proven to be the most devastating tragedy they had yet faced (and probably would ever face) as a family.
As I sought to share encouragement that Joanna’s survival was indeed a miracle and that God had a plan for their life as survivors, they nodded knowingly.

The most amazing thing about Joanna’s story seems obvious – that she was among the three in her school that survived. But the hidden jewel – the story behind the story that I discovered was the tenacious love of a father that wouldn’t give up searching for his beloved daughter…and Joanna wasn’t the only one who was a recipient of such love.

As my friends and I went from bed to bed throughout the 220-bed hospital, we heard story after story, not of death and devastation, but of love, hope, and courageous survival.

A little boy pulled from the rubble after eight days; another little girl trapped under rubble, unable to move anything but her hand – was seen and rescued by her father.

I met mothers and fathers and children in those hospitals that showed me – in the flesh – a love and hope that never gives up or quits. While their homes may be destroyed and their bodies broken, these survivors remain strong and the courage that brought them through this tragedy alive will carry them on into their futures with hope – in spite of the trials and challenges they are sure to face.
I set out to bring encouragement to the people of Haiti and these survivors and their families ended up encouraging me – with a love that never gives up.

Copyright: Laura M. Thomas 2010

The Sounds of Life and Love

2010-01-22T07:33:00.000-08:00

This morning began early but beautifully. I heard a shriek from Grace's room around 6:30am that made it evident she had either had a "baby nightmare" or just woke up afraid. Blurry eyed, I went to her room, picked her up in the dark and carried her back to my room. I was still too tired to fully get out of bed, so I laid back down in my bed with her. I thought for sure she would squirm out of my arms and begin to slide off the bed like she normally does, but this time was different. As I lay in my bed, she clung to me, laying on my neck at first but then my chest, with her little head in the crook of my neck and her little arms wrapped tightly around me.

I heard her deep, rhythmic breathing which told me she had dozed off again. We held this position for about 20 minutes...I didn't want to move. When she finally woke up, she gave me a kiss on the lips and let me hold her for a little while longer. It was a beautiful moment between us, one that I don't want to quickly forget. I felt her heartbeat and my own making a quiet chorus of the sounds of life and love between us. Though it was silent in the room, the sounds came from deep within us and flooded my ears with their beauty.

I thought of how I carried her when she was in my womb - the first time we heard her heartbeat - so loud and clear through the monitor at the doctor's office - Joel smiled and drummed the beat on the table next to me. He said he couldn't get the beat out of his head all day long.

Does love have a sound? Does life have a voice? I believe that love can be felt and life heard in many sounds: in the sound of rain breaking a drought; prison doors opening to free the oppressed, even more recently, the sound of the people of Haiti singing songs of hope in the midst of sheer rubble on their streets....these sounds can even be heard in the more simple, everyday moments shared with those we love.

In the quiet of my room, in the dark before the dawn, i heard the sound of life in my baby's heartbeat and felt the warmth of love in her embrace.

Our Abba Father has written many such songs that will bring life and love to those who have ears to hear them. Quiet your heart and listen: Can you hear the sounds of life and love around you today? They are echoes of a greater sound - the very voice of God with the very arms of your Heavenly Father - reaching for you when you are afraid, lifting your heart to the quiet, safe place of His trusting embrace - where you can be near to Him - heartbeat to heartbeat - a Celebration of Life.

My favorite - Naked Baby with Shoes

2010-01-15T12:44:00.002-08:00

Opening Presents

2010-01-15T12:44:00.001-08:00

Scarf-wearing fun

2010-01-15T12:42:00.000-08:00

A Continual Christmas

2010-01-08T16:25:00.000-08:00

"Let no pleasure tempt thee, no profit allure thee, no persuasion move thee, to do anything which thou knowest to be evil; so shalt thou always live jollity; for a good conscience is a continual Christmas."
— Benjamin Franklin

Today I went to the post office - twice. Let me explain. Recently, I began selling a lot of our used books on Amazon.com. I literally have over 5 huge boxes to sell from when I worked in a Christian Bookstore during college (where I spent over half my take-home income on the books in the store!) Seeing that the majority of these books are...well, dated, I thought I would try to make money and de-clutter at the same time.

I have only posted one box of books and have already had 9 orders. Pretty good, huh? Well, yes, but I haven't figured out how to print postage for media mail (cheapest way to mail books) from my computer, so...off to the Post Office I go!

One of the books I sold today was huge. It was a collection of sermons and teachings from a famous preacher and it happened to be an 850ish pager. Someone was willing to pay $25 for it and I was stoked. My plan is working!

Since I didn't have proper packaging for the large and rather odd-sized book, I went to the post office to find suitable packaging and to mail it, along with a few other books that had been ordered.

When I got there, with Grace in my arms, I realized in an instant that this was going to be much harder than I thought. She instantly wriggled from my arms, ran around the post office trying to pull on window blinds, envelopes stored close to the floor, specks of paper on the floor, etc etc. A kind woman behind me in line volunteered to hold Grace so that I could get my packages together. Feeling heat rise from my face at the reality that I had 2.4 minutes to accomplish it all, I grabbed the mid-sized cushioned envelope and fought vigorously to get the monstrous book inside...to no avail. It looked like it would fit at a glance, but the odd size of the book made it impossible to fit. In the process of squeezing, I inflicted a very minor tear on the envelope and put it aside. It was definitely usable, and wasn't going to work for my book, so that was that, and I certainly didn't have time to think about it.

In frustration, I grabbed the large envelope (which was WAY too big for my book) and shoved it in, thinking to myself that there should have been some sort of "in-between" size envelope available!

After gathering Grace, mailing the packages, driving home, and putting her down for a nap, I stopped to think about the torn envelope I had left behind. Now, you might think I'm totally crazy, but my conscience wouldn't let me go about that envelope. I reasoned to myself that the tear I had made on it was minor and it was still definitely able to be used...that it only cost a few dollars....that it was hard enough to go to the post office and get through the experience once in a day with Grace in tow...

But for some reason (again, call me crazy) I couldn't let it go. I told God that I was willing to go back and purchase the envelope if He wanted me to. After a little stewing, I knew for my own conscience's sake I should do it. I had damaged something and left it in slightly worse condition for another person to buy.

As if to confirm my decision, I got an email that there was one book in my Seller account I had forgotten to mail. Indeed, I had to return to the Post Office. On my way there, I thought, "It may already have been purchased..." but as fate would have it, I arrived to find the envelope with the tear in it was still there.

I mailed my book, bought the envelope, got in the car and drove home. It may seem so small, so silly, but my conscience felt lighter - and after I ate a few dark chocolate M & M's I felt almost in a state of bliss :)

Now, hear me out. Before you think I'm a saint, let me confess that many times I do ignore my conscience. But when I do, I experience a very clear unsettled feeling and conviction from the Holy Spirit until I finally give in....or if the opportunity has passed me by, I know I must repent or apologize (if it involved someone else). But thankfully, I have learned through the years to be quicker about submitting to my conscience, knowing that a peaceful soul is a wonderful thing.

We just finished the Christmas season. I don't know about you, but I already miss it. People are often nicer than usual, warmth and joy abounds, giving increases, and hot chocolate and egg nog runneth over. It's a grand time.

A New Year has begun, but this quote by Benjamin Franklin states a glorious fact: when we have a clean conscience we can live in a continual Christmas. Not that we will be perfect (actually, it's quite the opposite!!) but there is a great joy in righting a wrong, asking for forgiveness, mending something you have torn, walking in restitution (a making good of, or giving an equivalent for some injury).

Perhaps you walk out of the grocery store to find that you weren't charged for a few items. Or you realize you made a promise that you haven't fulfilled. Or there is someone who wronged you that you told you have forgiven, but in your heart you are still angry with that person.

Because of what Christ did for us at the Cross, we can walk with a clean conscience. But we have to draw near to Him, receive His cleansing, and make decisions that right wrongs and open our hearts to His Light. Paul said, "So I strive always to keep my conscience clear before God and man" (Acts 24:16). In I Timothy 1:19 he admonishes Timothy, "Cling to your faith in Christ, and keep your conscience clear. For some people have deliberately violated their consciences; as a result, their faith has been shipwrecked."

Every day we have the choice (multiple times a day!) to either ignore our conscience or heed it. Here's a motivator for you: A violated conscience can ultimately shipwreck our faith. A clear conscience is a continual Christmas in your heart. Like sugar cookies and hot chocolate to your soul.

Seems like a no-brainer to me. I, for one, really like hot chocolate :)

Reflections from Snow

2009-12-20T11:25:00.000-08:00

"He orders the snow, ‘Blanket the earth!’
and the rain, ‘Soak the whole countryside!’

No one can escape the weather—it’s there.
And no one can escape from God.

Wild animals take shelter,
crawling into their dens,

When blizzards roar out of the north
and freezing rain crusts the land.

It’s God’s breath that forms the ice,
it’s God’s breath that turns lakes and rivers solid.

And yes, it’s God who fills clouds with rainwater
and hurls lightning from them every which way.

He puts them through their paces—first this way, then that—
commands them to do what he says all over the world.

Whether for discipline or grace or extravagant love,
he makes sure they make their mark.
A Terrible Beauty Streams from God

“Job, are you listening? Have you noticed all this?
Stop in your tracks! Take in God’s miracle-wonders!"

~ Job 37:6-14

Friday night it started snowing here in the DC area and didn't stop until Saturday night.

CNN reported that, "Washington's Dulles International and Reagan National airports saw snowfall of 18 inches and 16.4 inches, respectively -- the highest one-day totals ever for December. The previous record at Dulles was 10.6 inches in December 1964, and at Reagan National, it was 11.5 inches in December 1932."

Why do blizzards happen? What is the purpose of different weather patterns? Well, I got curious about this and looked up what God has to say about snow in the Bible.

I read this passage in Job today and reflected upon how intense winter weather is powerful. It shuts people in. Stops commerce and flights and cars. I have no doubt that many children squealed in joy and many airport travelers uttered expletives at the magnitude and impact of this blizzard.

Personally, our family has stayed in our pjs or snow suits for the past 2 days :) and spent a lot of extra cuddle time!

I read these remarks of the Job 37 passage in Matthew Henry's Commentary, which provoked me to thought:

The changes..in weather..are the subject of a great deal of our common talk, but how seldom do we think and speak of these things, as Elihu does here, with regard to God...The providence of God is to be acknowledged, both by husbandmen in the fields or travelers upon the road, in every shower of rain, whether it does them a kindness or dis-kindness. It is a sin and folly to contend with God's providence in the weather. The effect of the extremity of the winter-weather obliges both men and beasts to retire. He seals up the hand of every man: In frost and snow, men cannot follow their business...nor travelers...Men, being taken off from their work, may know His work, and contemplate that, and give Him the glory. When we are confined to our houses we should thereby be driven to our Bibles and our knees.

We may delight in God's choice of the daily weather or shake our fist and complain about it, but as God He has the final say and there are reasons for all of His storms and His sunshine.

I know I can recall many times I prayed for God to keep rain or snow from coming or to bring rain when there has been drought. At times I have seen Him open up the heavens in response...and at other times I felt He chose to "rain on my parade."

But, in the end, however God may answer my prayers regarding the weather, it's not about me, as this passage in Job so poetically states. It's about His perfect, all-knowing plan.

So...how about you? As Elihu said, "..are you listening? Have you noticed all this?
Stop in your tracks! Take in God’s miracle-wonders!"

A 13 Month Old Overcomer

2009-12-01T14:58:00.000-08:00

So, you have probably read the passage in Romans 8 that speaks about being "more than conquerers"...well, recently I got a lesson from my daughter on what that means or what it can look like practically.

She may be 13 months old, but God is already clearly at work in Grace's life. Grace recently learned how to climb the stairs in our home. We have a fairly tall staircase so this is no small task. She had done this several times on her own with no problems and one night, while we had some friends over for dinner, like any good parents,we were eager to show off our daughter's latest trick :)

As Grace started climbing the stairs, Joel kneeled at the top with his arms outstretched wide, encouraging her to come to him while I stood at the bottom of the stairs with our friends, cheering her on. About one stair away from the top, Grace lost her balance and fell backwards - down the entire staircase. It was a very bad fall, to say the least. I'm not going to give all the details, but a flip was involved. Needless to say, we were all completely freaked out (at least at the moment) regarding her well-being and I scooped her up in my arms to see if she was okay.

She cried (probably more out of fright and shock) and we looked her over, moved her joints, etc - she seemed okay, but I knew she must be terrified. Well, I was wrong!
My little girl wriggled out of my arms (to my consternation) and crawled back over to the bottom of the stairs and purposefully started climbing again.

All four of us adults stood there with our mouths hanging open. We were dumbfounded. I thought perhaps we would have to reteach Grace that she COULD, in fact, climb the stairs. I thought we may have to work hard to help her get past her fear and the sheer terror of such a fall. Well, again, I was wrong.

We let her climb the stairs (the second time) which I know was a good decision because when she reached the top (and I was following RIGHT behind her at each step to catch her if she fell) she beamed as we all cheered her victory. She had overcome.

Is it really that simple? Is overcoming really come down to GETTING UP and TRYING ONCE AGAIN after you've fallen - even fallen hard? Well, my daughter can't even talk much yet, but she has already learned her first lesson in overcoming. I thought about this for days afterward.

God, give me the grace and childlike faith to believe you for victories in my life even in areas where I have failed or fallen. Give me the courage to try again and to trust you where I have been disappointed or let down. Help me to see you at the top of the mountain I am climbing - as my Daddy with your arms outstretched wide to me, cheering me on....

I wrote a poem for Grace and I will include it here below:

The Climb

Joy in the climb,
laughter all the way,
step by step, moving forward as play.
Looking at Daddy,
His arms outstretched wide,
hearing us cheering,
you knew you could climb.
Nearing the top now,
a slip, then a fall,
sent you tumbling down,
those great stairs that you crawled.
It was a great fall,
by everyone's estimation,
our hearts raced in fear,
as we assessed the situation.
You cried out loud - out of shock, out of fright,
but in spite of the fall, you seemed quite alright.
I held you tightly, more for me than for you,
But you were determined to finish what you'd started to do.
Squirming from my arms,
we all watched in awe,
as you approached with great purpose,
the stairs of your fall.
Without hesitation, without any delay,
You had started to finish,
the great climb of your day.
And Daddy held out his arms,
As I followed you close this time,
My eyes filled with tears,
at your conviction to climb.
You knew you could do it,
Even after you fell-
Fearless, Unconquered-
You finished well!
My darling, My daughter,
You're Courageous! You're Bold!
All the mountains you'll climb,
I can't wait to behold!

love, Mommy :)

Earth is Crammed with Heaven

2009-10-30T10:55:00.000-07:00

I was reading a book last night and came across this quote from Elizabeth Barrett Browning:

"Earth's crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God:
But only he who sees, takes off his shoes,
The rest sit round it, and pluck blackberries."

I laughed, then thought about it, and kept reading. I have a funny way of reading books, I think. I tend to read a few pages of one, then pick up another and read another few pages.

Funny thing was, after I put that book down and reached for number two, I read the same quote from Ms. Browning again! That stopped me in my tracks. Hmmm...maybe God is speaking this to me?

The last week has been full of interesting incidents that seemed to find similar theme, though they all are very unique :)

#1: I was talking to a friend on the phone while jogging in our neighborhood when a little bee flew into my eye and stung my eyeball! As this has never happened to me before, I called my eye doctor from Georgia who prescribed some prescription eye drops for the pain/infection which ensued.

#2: After a great morning at the Zoo on Grace's birthday last week, I got lost, called the same friend (thanks, Emily!)who GPS'ed me to Florida Avenue, where I promptly ran a red light in my flustered/recently lost state of mind and got pulled over. Now, I have been pulled over before (not in some time) but have never had an officer YELL at me. He did. Primarily because he saw Grace in the backseat, which is understandable. He saw my eyes fill with tears and after severely scolding me, handed me my license with a warning never to do it again.

#3: Joel has been working some long hours recently at work which is abnormal, but means that I have been pushed to the max in terms of my energy level (Grace). The longer days have sometimes resulted in fatigue and an impaired sense of judgment, which was uniquely demonstrated two nights ago when, after cleaning up our dinner dishes and Grace's high chair tray, I tossed the tray on the top of the oven burners, which I thought were off, and walked away. Needless to say, when I walked in a few minutes later, there was fire burning through a hole in the plastic tray which had now been ruined.

Why am I sharing these stories? To make you laugh or invoke your sympathy, at least :) j/k. No, really...because I don't believe anything in my life happens purely by accident, so I asked God what He was trying to teach me through these, um, interesting incidents that had all unfolded in the same week.

This is what I journaled: "Things happen every day TO us and BY us - incidentally and on purpose.

There are those things that happen TO us (not our fault, per say): We're running through life and get stung - maybe not by a bee, maybe we're dealt a rough hand, lose a job, are treated poorly by someone - how do we handle it?

Then, there are those things that happen BY us - we're running late, miss our train, run a red light, etc, etc.

Sometimes, they result in eye ointment or a trip to the doctor; Sometimes, a warning or rebuke is appropriate.

But I am learning, regardless of the incident, there is always something to learn - if I have eyes to see and ears to hear.

The common thread? All these "common bushes" of life are afire with God at work in my life - if I lean in, listen, am teachable.

In all these scenarios, my great need for God is evident and His grace is evident as well - in a soothing ointment for my eye and a harsh warning from a police officer rather than an eye infection and a traffic accident.

All of these "common happenings" show His fingerprints of mercy - there He is! Soothing, Healing, Correcting, Intervening, Protecting - ALL AROUND ME! Do I see Him?
My days often seem normal and ordinary, but when I look past the obvious, under every surface story, there is a deeper tale of redemption, love, and restoration that is unfolding all around me...like handwriting on the walls of my life saying "God was here!"

Have you had any interesting circumstances lately? Maybe they weren't so ordinary, after all...

The Power of Memories

2009-10-09T11:39:00.000-07:00

This week I took my little girl to the doctor. Twice. She used to love the doctor and kick her little legs with glee at the sight of him. Well, not anymore. I was honestly stumped when little Grace started screaming upon SIGHT of her wonderful pediatrician, Dr. Cliff. When I asked him why (he wasn't even giving her a shot) he said "It's okay. Right around the age of one, kids start hating me. Then around the age of three, they start to like me again." I asked him why. He told me that around one year of age, children start to have memories of experiences and therefore (like all of us) their memories of doctors, doctors offices, etc, start to snap into gear and they often associate the doctor with un-fun things like shots and sticking some funny object in their mouths or ears.

A few nights ago, i was lying in bed about to fall asleep when suddenly I had the thought, "Did I turn the alarm on?" Joel had fallen asleep before me, and because I was uncertain, I tip-toed down the stairs and checked the front door and turned on the alarm. Then, for some reason, I laid down in bed and found myself dealing with fear of having our house be broken into again. The memories from the night of our break-in flooded back into my mind and my heart began to race in response. Then I began to think like Joel says he always thinks (as our protector) "How would I protect Grace? How would I out-smart the robbers? How would we protect ourselves?"

Finally, I calmed myself down enough to pray and ask God for peace of heart and mind, and fell asleep. But the next morning I woke up more groggy than normal, the consequences of meditating on a bad memory.

Interestingly enough, during my quiet time that morning I chose to read some of a bible study I am doing with some girls at my church called "Believing God" by Beth Moore. The focus of that day's reading was...you guessed it! Memories.

Beth told us to write down the memories we have of God revealing Himself to us and the signs of His work in our lives. She actually instructed us to divide our life into fifths and to think of these types of memories for each stage of our lives so far. As I thought through my life (each 6 years since I am 30) I started remembering how many times God has revealed Himself to me, worked miracles on my behalf, and showed signs of His power, love, and greatness to me and my family. I talked to my Mom who also jogged my memory of things about my childhood that I had forgotten that revealed additional fingerprints of His work in my life - things I didn't remember, but my mommy sure does!

Memories carry great power. One song can bring back a host of memories and take us back to a moment of great joy or sadness. A smell or scent can do the same. Our memories are powerful and that is why it is so important to choose what memories we allow to invade and dominate our conscience.

What are your greatest memories of God at work in your life? What are some of your most painful ones? Have you allowed God to heal you of those times when you may have felt hurt, abandoned, betrayed, confused? How long has it been since you focused on His works in your life?

Check out Psalm 77:10-12 in the Message version:

Will the Lord walk off and leave us for good?
Will he never smile again?
Is his love worn threadbare?
Has his salvation promise burned out?
Has God forgotten his manners?
Has he angrily stalked off and left us?
"Just my luck," I said. "The High God goes out of business
just the moment I need him."

11-12 Once again I'll go over what God has done,
lay out on the table the ancient wonders;
I'll ponder all the things you've accomplished,
and give a long, loving look at your acts.

Take some time today to "lay out on the table" the wonders He's done in your life. I would personally love to hear about them - please share! :)

Celebrating First Steps

2009-09-29T07:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Grace took her first step! She did it twice, actually :) and I promptly posted the news on Facebook. Of course I had multiple comments about how she'd soon be running. While I know it's true, I just want to enjoy that first step! It only happens once. I think about her progress:

I was there when she discovered her legs - what are these things for?
Then, when she discovered she could kick with them - this was and still is a novelty in our home!
Then, she learned she could crawl with them (is it possible for a baby to "run" on her knees?)
Then, she learned she could stand on them without falling - this she even does while holding very heavy objects above her head and yelling in victory :)
And now, she took her first step.

Granted, it was one step, and ended shortly after on her rear end. But my clapping and celebrating that little step (and it was a solid step!) convinced her that her progress, while small, was worth celebrating! In fact, she was convinced enough that she did it again for Joel last night.

Perhaps I am a wistful and sentimental Mommy, but I can't help but wonder where those little feet will take her as she journeys through life. Sometimes my feet will be right beside her (especially in these early years). Once she is older, she will be taking more walks alone - learning as she goes...She will learn about faith, and how if she is willing to take steps towards God, she will grow as a result.

As her Mommy, I want to get her off on the right foot (pun intended!) I want every step she takes to be celebrated, encouraged, praised.

I see my 11 month old daughter literally grow in confidence before my eyes as I cheer her on. She knows that Mommy and Daddy believe in her. And I pray, "Father God, what can I learn from this?" What I hear from Him is this: "No step of progress, trust, or faith is too small to be celebrated."

Do I realize that every time I choose to reject selfishness and act with loving service towards another, God smiles...no, more than that, He cheers me on!
When I encourage my husband after a hard day of work, or a friend or neighbor who is going through a rough time, building their confidence and faith, God cheers me on!

Building up others in love is the very heart of God. That is why the writer of Hebrews says, "But instead warn (admonish, urge, and encourage) one another every day, as long as it is called Today, that none of you may be hardened [into settled rebellion] by the deceitfulness of sin [by the fraudulence, the stratagem, the trickery which the delusive glamor of his sin may play on him]." - Hebrews 3:13 (Amplified Bible)

Who around you has taken their "first steps" recently? No one should be given up on. Christ hasn't given up on us! Who around you have you seen progress lately? how can you cheer them on and encourage their growth and development? And thank God for every sign you see of your own growth! Celebrate every small step forward in Grace...and one day you will look back and realize you are not the same person you were even a year ago!

A Hike to Remember

2009-08-06T07:35:00.000-07:00

Last week, our family went on our annual trip to my (the Earley) family's cabin in Cashiers, North Carolina. This is my favorite place in the world and I was eager to introduce Grace, our 9 month old, to the beauty of the natural world there.

A few days into our time at the Cabin, we were joined by my cousin, Susan, along with her husband, Nate and their daughter, Bella. We embarked on an adventure to check out Sliding Rock and the Chattooga River Trail. Joel and I had hiked with Grace on the trail a couple days before (Grace's first hike!) and had a memorable experience in spite of the fact that Joel was stung by a hornet during our hike. However, we had put that memory behind us and were excited for our fun journey to begin....

As we began the hike, the girls were both latched in to various backpacks on their dad's backs. We women hiked behind them, chatting and laughing along the way...until...about 30 minutes into our hike, Nate yelled something like "ah...ow!" and grabbed at his leg. Immediately, I felt stinging all over my legs and started screaming. We had been attacked by a huge swarm of yellow jackets! Susan and I ran back down towards the beginning of the trail screaming and swatting the yellow jackets away while Nate and Joel ran in front of them. Bella had been walking next to Nate and Nate grabbed her and ran forward.

As Susan and I walked down the trail recovering from our stings and taking off our shoes (where we had found more yellow jackets!) we prayed "Jesus, protect our little girls!"...we didn't know if they had been stung and had no way of knowing whether or not they were allergic.

We waited at the bottom of the trail and watched as our husbands emerged with our two little girls, who were both just fine (though in need of a nap). As we commiserated about our own stings, we reveled in God's genuine protection of our daughters. Between the 4 of us, we had been stung 17 times, and yet our daughters had been shielded from the attack. This can only be attributed to 2 things - the merciful grace of God and two very protective daddy's.

As Nate and Joel shared with us the story of how (once free from the yellow jackets) they decided on a "master plan" to avert the bees and bring their girls to safety. They had to hike off the trail and circle around for some time, showing up out of breath and exhausted. Covering our girls with their own bodies, they shielded them from harm while bringing more stings on themselves.

What a picture this is of God our Father's love for us, his children. So many times, attacks come our way in life. Not that we are always spared these battles, but we may not realize how often our Heavenly Father shields us and protects us from harm. In fact, in John 10, Jesus refers to Himself as our "Good Shepherd" that "lays down His life for the sheep."

"I am the Good Shepherd. I know my own sheep and my own sheep know me. In the same way, the Father knows me and I know the Father. I put the sheep before myself, sacrificing myself if necessary." - John 10:14

Humorously, as we put our girls in the cars to go home (and get Benadryl) Bella said something like "Ow! that hurt!" ...probably in imitation of what she was hearing all of us say :) However, she was spared - her father had taken the stings for her :)

Not only does Jesus often shield us from harm, he removes the guilt and stain of our sins by covering us with His own blood, having sacrificed Himself so that we might live free from the sting of death and the power of sin. How grateful I am for these daily pictures of our Father and His amazing love for US - His Children!

Peace that Passes Understanding

2009-07-09T11:27:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, our home was invaded in the middle of the night by a thief who picked our front door lock, swept our main floor, and came upstairs into our bedroom where he shone a flashlight which woke my husband, Joel. Joel immediately yelled at the man and chased him as he fled out the door.

From 1am (when the incident occurred) til around 3:30am, we were meeting with a policeman, detective, our tenant who lives in the basement, and his mother. When all was said and done, our adrenaline was pumping and we found it hard to settle ourselves back to sleep. Eventually we did.

The next day we spent much time rehashing the events of the night before and the emotions were mixed. From questions: Why our home? Why did he come upstairs? to Praise and thanks to God for protecting all who were in the house and that no damage was done to our property. We were only short an IPOD, a blackberry, and some cash...well, physically, that is all that was taken.

Which got me thinking...about our peace of mind. Peace is something that, when you have it, you often don't think about it too much. It is defined in the dictionary as a state of being untroubled; tranquil; content. At that moment we realized that we had a choice to make - would we trust Jesus to fill us with His supernatural peace, or would we go with our natural human emotional reaction - which would be fear and dread...ie. "What if this happened again??!"

In that moment, trembling, we made a choice not to allow our peace to be stolen along with our IPOD and blackberry. We joined together as husband and wife and asked God to fill us with peace in the midst of our trouble. And He not only answered, He filled us with such an assurance of His Presence and has daily reminded me through His Word that Peace is promised to every Child of God - it is a gift that we must simply receive...even if we have to receive it trembling.

Here are a few truths I have been meditating on:

John 16:33 (Amplified Bible)
33I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]

John 14:27 (Amplified Bible)
27Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.]

Jesus never said that when we choose to follow Him our lives would be perfect...no troubles, no setbacks, no shake-ups. However, He has promised that IN THIS MIDST of our troubles we can have His perfect peace knowing that He is with us and that He has overcome this world.

Thanking Jesus today for His peace, which surpasses my understanding, and which outlasts all the evils of this world.

Small Beginnings

2009-06-30T10:46:00.000-07:00

This week I picked the "first fruit" of our garden! Now, it wasn't much (so far) but let me tell you, I am proud! Our "first fruit" for our first year of garden has begun with only two bush beans (see photo). I can't even make a side dish from these beans, but the fact that they grew gives me hope for a bigger harvest ahead!

Working soil is hard, weeding is hard, sowing and tending can be exhausting. And it can be defeating when you don't see fruit from your efforts. Some plants (like blueberries) take at least a few years to produce fruit.

How about our hearts? Most of us have a few things we pray about regularly because we know that they are weaknesses in our lives. God is doing a work in our hearts, seeking to produce lasting fruit of righteousness in us.

Sometimes, we sow His Word in our hearts, pray about change in a certain area, and growth or freedom from that sin comes almost immediately! Other times (most often...) that growth comes over time, with much effort and investment.

My pastor, Dennis Pisani, shared this past Sunday how seeing the fruit of Holiness in our lives takes hard work! He certainly wasn't saying that we can earn holiness on our own or that our works alone produce holiness. But we must choose to sow to the Spirit and not to our flesh if we are going to see God's character in our lives.

Here's a meditation for you today:

Galatians 6:7-9 (New King James Version)
7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. 8 For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. 9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

So don't be discouraged in small beginnings - instead, rejoice and praise God for every indication of spiritual growth in your life! He who has begun a good work in your life will certainly be faithful to complete it!

Caring to Confront

2009-06-12T08:22:00.000-07:00

I'm blessed to be a part of a group of women that one of my pastors, Pastor Donna, mentors. Every month we (most of the time) leave our kids with our husband or a babysitter and sit down to have a meal from Cosi and discuss a spiritual book or Bible study that we are going through. It is also just a time for us girls to connect, share, and encourage one another. I love these women. They have become great friends and are truly "iron sharpening iron" relationships. And Pastor Donna is always full of God's wisdom for us as we relay our varying challenges of our current season of life.

Our group met last week and we are doing the Bible study "Believing God" by Beth Moore. This study is really challenging me and helping to bring my faith in God to another level through meditation principles of faith in God's Word.

One of the topics that came up in our most recent discussion was how it takes faith to be willing and ready to confront - to deal with confrontation that needs to occur in relationships. Whether it is at work, school, home, with friends, or others - all of us face times when confrontation is necessary for the purpose of growth. Many times it is easy to NOT confront a situation because it is often uncomfortable. And yet, everywhere in Scripture we read the opposite.

For example, Scripture admonishes us to "walk in the light." What does this mean, really?^{I John 1:6-8 says, "}If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us."

Walking in the light means just that - allowing who we are to be clearly seen by God and others - not walking in darkness, hiding, shame, and seclusion from others in the Body of Christ.

I find it interesting that Scripture ties walking in the light to genuine fellowship with others. We may say we have fellowship with God and others, but if we are not honest, open, and transparent in our relationships we "lie and do not practice the truth." Sobering indeed!

Does this mean that I should confess all of my sins to every believer I know?! of course not! Should I point out every sin I see in others?! That would be the quickest way to lose friends for sure! :) As with every challenge we face in life, we have need of the Holy Spirit's help in navigating our relationships.

We each ought to seek out those whom God has placed in our life to be those "iron sharpening iron" relationships - if we are married, our spouse definitely fits this category. Good friends that are mature believers will be as well. And then there are those whom God has entrusted to you - whether you know it or not ( or believe it!) there could be others around you who look to you for guidance or as a "big brother" or "big sister" in the faith. I believe these relationships, often referred to as "mentoring" or "discipling" are instrumental in our spiritual growth.

We ought to have fun with and encourage those who look up to us in the faith. Certainly our conversations shouldn't be dominated with correction - but building up and edification. However, part of building up others in the Lord is also a willingness to "speak the truth in love" when necessary.

Ephesians 4:14-16 in the Amplified Version says, "So then, we may no longer be children, tossed [like ships] to and fro between chance gusts of teaching and wavering with every changing wind of doctrine, [the prey of] the cunning and cleverness of unscrupulous men, [gamblers engaged] in every shifting form of trickery in inventing errors to mislead.

Rather, let our lives lovingly express truth [in all things, speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly]. Enfolded in love, let us grow up in every way and in all things into Him Who is the Head, [even] Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One).

For because of Him the whole body (the church, in all its various parts), closely joined and firmly knit together by the joints and ligaments with which it is supplied, when each part [with power adapted to its need] is working properly [in all its functions], grows to full maturity, building itself up in love."

Some of us are good at telling it like it is (speaking truth)...but perhaps without love or care.

Some of us are good at loving...but avoiding confrontation for fear of offending another or losing their friendship.

But Christ calls us to something better - to bathe our relationships in prayer, to be filled with his love, and to speak words of truth IN LOVE to those He has placed in our lives.

My daughter is at a stage where she is reaching and grabbing for everything. If she grabs for something sharp, or hot, or in other ways destructive to her - I stop her! I say no! I confront her behavior for her own good. Through this, over time, she will grow to know what is dangerous and what to avoid - things that will only hurt her in the end.

Pastor Donna shared with us that night in our group that when we dare to confront (in love) we are not cutting that person down, but we are calling each other higher in the Lord. May we be those who build each other up in loving truth, encouraging always and confronting in love when necessary - that we might all grow up in Grace into Him who is our Head - Christ.

The World and Your Breakfast

2009-06-05T07:15:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when I think of how God knows every detail about me (my needs, wants, deepest desires, goals, even preferences) it astounds me.

The Bible says that He knows every hair on our head and that His thoughts about us are more than the grains of sand on the sea shore. The God of the universe thinks that much about me...and about you!

As a woman, wife, mother, daughter, and friend, I can worry or grow anxious when I think about a variety of things...how will Grace perform on our next big trip? Will she sleep? When she doesn't eat well, I am concerned for her well being. Sometimes I wonder about my own dreams and life goals for ministry, writing, and more. I think about my husband and his work, his potential, and the things that are most important to him as well.

And then, there are other smaller things. Like my morning cup of coffee. I don't know how many of you are religious (or ritualistic) in your coffee drinking, but I certainly am! Every morning it is almost guaranteed that you will find me, after I put Grace down for her morning nap, brewing some fresh ground coffee and frothing my milk (ok, I admit that I'm a bit of a coffee connoisseur!). In fact, I just brought home 7 lbs. of Starbucks coffee from my sister-in-law's store in IL! Yes, it's an intense passion. While it is "just a cup of coffee," it is pure enjoyment to me.

During our trip around the world, I often said that as long as I could find a good cup of coffee, I didn't mind sleeping in a hut, hand washing my clothes, or eating the "local" food. Frequently on our 19-nation tour, I found God providing amazing cups of coffee for me in some of the most surprising places...Singapore, Hong Kong, and the Nairobi airport in Kenya.

Probably the most memorable of these experiences was in Khao Lak, Thailand, where Joel and I were preaching the gospel to refugees and assisting with building projects for the Tsunami victims. One morning, I went to a little local restaurant for breakfast. They served me the most amazing, inexpensive breakfast I have ever eaten - a huge pancake filled with fresh pineapple and coconut and covered in honey. And a coffee on the side.

As I sat there joyously eating my amazing breakfast, I thought about the fact that God cares about huge things - like "the World," the global AIDS epidemic, human trafficking, victims of natural disasters, and more. And He even cares enough to often provide even small things that mean a lot to me - like a great breakfast and cup of coffee.

Nothing is too big or small for God to care about in your life. Nothing escapes His attention or notice. Not one need, dream, desire, or even small delight. Not saying He always chooses to give us those things (for His purposes are much higher than ours), but when He does, we ought to sit up and take notice.

So whether you experience God's presence today in a "yell" of His miraculous healing or in a "whisper" of the consistent provision of your morning coffee, don't forget to thank Him. Take time to read that familiar passage on worry in Matthew 6. And don't forget that "even the hairs on your head are numbered."

God Enjoys His Children!

2009-05-22T11:38:00.000-07:00

God speaks to me through my daughter. Daily. For those of you without children, it may be hard to fully grasp, but spend some time around a child and you will understand. Today when I was writing to a friend, I shared with her how amazed I am at how many lessons God teaches me through Grace. These lessons come quietly to me (if I will listen) through the every day activities of life-with-child. I wanted to share one such lesson with you today.

Do you know that God just enjoys BEING with you? I know this sounds really simplistic, but just follow my story....

Every day, I get up early when I hear Gracie crying. Her cry is my new "alarm clock." I come to her almost immediately and she smiles. She knew I would come. Then we begin our day which includes me feeding Gracie, cleaning Gracie, playing with Gracie, correcting Gracie when she screams in her highchair (even though she may not fully understand, I still tell her not to throw tantrums and be patient). I train her to try to sit up on her own. She falls over and cries. We try again. She naps and I work. Repeat routine. And then, around 5:30 or 6 at night....Daddy comes home!

Grace loves her Daddy. I know this without a doubt. The nights he has worship team practice or some other activity she looks out the window and I know what's going through her little mind. "Where's Daddy?" When Daddy comes home, it's PLAY TIME! Me and Gracie play during the day, of course, but there is a special novelty about play time with Daddy. She squeals, she laughs, and he laughs. He enjoys her and she enjoys him.

Some nights we let her "entertain us" for awhile while we chat. We just watch her playing with a toy or mastering some new part of her Exersaucer and smile. Many nights we will just sit there and watch her play for quite awhile. We love watching her squeal in delight as she grabs hold of her purple butterfly (see picture above) or the cute way she always sticks out her tongue.

We just enjoy her.

I'm with her all day - you could say that taking care of Gracie is my "full time job." But, even when Joel is home and I could have "time off" - I often just want to sit down and enjoy my daughter. She's not merely a chore or a responsibility to me. She's my daughter.

Now the parallel. So simple and yet easily forgotten.

God is your Father. He doesn't slumber or sleep and He hears your cry. He always comes to you and He is there to comfort you when you need His help and love. He meets your daily needs and cleanses your spirit from the grime of sin and this world every day. He trains you, disciplines you, works with you, and plays with you.

And, even after all of that, He just loves to watch you enjoy the life that He has given to you. He just enjoys you enjoying life! How do I know this?

"Then God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good." - Genesis 1:31
God thoroughly enjoys His creation - He enjoys us!

"I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." - John 10:10
When we walk in and enjoy the abundant life that God has given us by His Holy Spirit, we are fulfilling the purpose for which He created us.

Some days you may think that what you are just one small little person in a world of billions of people. Well, you are - but you are also so unique and special to God that He knows the very hairs on your head (Matthew 10:30) and knows everything you'll say before you utter a word (Psalm 139).

This weekend, remember that as you sing silly songs in the shower, stop to smell the roses on your street, or thoroughly enjoy an ice cream cone and get it all over your shirt - God is watching you, simply enjoying you enjoying the life He's given you.